


Mix Up

by Bremol



Series: It Ends With Double Vision [1]
Category: As Time Goes By, James Bond (Movies), Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bremol/pseuds/Bremol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>M finds out that she has a doppelganger in the worst possible way...witnessing her kidnapping.  Set somewhere between Tomorrow Never Dies and The World Is Not Enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

M sat behind her desk frowning down at the file spread out over the surface.  Bond had been at it again, although why that surprised her she didn’t know.  Years of working with this man had taught her one thing - he never followed the rules.

Of course she hadn’t had a man such as Malfry breathing down her neck in the past.  Now that she did, he was making her wish she could strangle him.  She grinned.  She could strangle him and no one would be the wiser.  Hadn’t she done that very thing with one of her targets back in her double-o days? 

Slapping the file in frustration, she sighed, “I have to stop daydreaming about ways to get rid of that bloody moron and think of a way to get Bond’s arse out of the sling and keep mine out as well.”

“M, I’m sorry to bother you, but there’s a call on line one.”  Moneypenny’s voice broke into M’s thoughts.

“Thank you, Moneypenny.”  M sighed into the speaker before picking up the phone.  “Hello?” she answered with a question, wondering why Moneypenny hadn’t said who was on the line.

“You’ve trouble brewing within the ranks.  Beware the danger lurking about in plain sight.”

“Who is this?”  M asked, a dial tone her only answer.  “Moneypenny!  I want Q branch on that call immediately!” she shouted, not bothering with the intercom.

 

~*~

 

Jean rubbed her eyes then smiled when she felt Lionel’s soft lips nuzzling her neck.  “Mmm,” she hummed as she tilted her head to give him better access.

“Fancy a nap?”  Lionel asked between nips and licks.

“Nap?” she asked a bit breathlessly.  _He wants to take a nap?_

“A nap,” he confirmed.

Pulling back, Jean looked up at him and caught the look in his eyes.  Finally she understood just what kind of _nap_ he had in mind.  Smiling, she cupped his face.  “I’d love a nap.”

Lionel stood up and held out his hand, helping her stand.  “We’ve not had a good _nap_ since our honeymoon.”

Jean shook her head.  “No, we haven’t.  Too many people about.”

“Well there’s no one here now.”

“No.  Both girls are gone for the weekend.”

“Mmm,” he hummed as he tugged her along.

Jean shivered when his hand caressed over the curve of her buttocks as she went up the stairs ahead of him.  Turning her head to look at him over her shoulder, her breath caught in surprise when Lionel pushed her up against the wall, pinning her between him and the hard surface.  Moaning when his mouth crashed down on hers, she fisted her hands in his shirt and returned the kiss with equal fervor.

Lionel ground his hips against Jean, groaning when she whimpered.  “We’re too old for this,” he managed to mumble as he pulled back to catch his breath.

“Bed.”  Jean mumbled as she turned and started up the rest of the stairs.

Lionel groaned at the sway of her hips.  If he were twenty years younger, he’d take her over the banister, damn the bed, but he wasn’t so the bed it was.  “Good god, Jean.  You’re going to kill me.”

Jean turned and smiled at him as she stopped by their bed.  “How?”

“You were intentionally exaggerating the sway of your hips because you know what that does to me.”

“I do?” she asked as she kicked off her shoes then unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to the floor.  “Don’t muss me too much, I’ve shopping to do later,” she told him as she finished undressing.

Lionel chuckled as he hurriedly undressed himself.  “I love you mussed.”

The low rumble of his voice sent a shiver up her spine as she threw back the covers on the bed then settled herself against the pillows.  Holding out her arms, Jean welcomed his weight over her, pushing her into the mattress.  “I love afternoon naps,” she whispered as she caressed his face.

“Mmm, so do I.”  Lionel agreed as he dipped his head to kiss her, his tongue tracing her lips before pressing inside.  He moaned at the way her tongue tangled with his, pushing into his mouth, then darting back inside her own.  He could feel her thighs quivering against his hips as she drew her legs up, encouraging him to thrust inside her wet warmth.

Jean hissed when Lionel pushed inside, stretching and filling her.  “Mmm,” she hummed when he made a circular motion with his hips.  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him close and held him.  “Don’t worry about crushing me.  You know that I’m not fragile.  Just make love to me, Lionel,” she whispered in his ear before moving her lips to his.

Doing as she asked, Lionel held her close as he moved against her, his body bringing hers to climax twice before he let get of his control and gave in to his own body’s demands.  Collapsing against her, he felt her body trembling beneath him and tried to move off, but she held him to her.  “I’ll hurt you,” he mumbled.

“No, you won’t.  I’ll tell you when your weight is too much.”  Jean caressed his head.  “Just let me hold you here for a bit, please Love?”

Lionel gave in.  He’d never been able to say no to her when she used that tone of voice.  It always sort of broke his heart because it showed a vulnerability about his wife that wasn’t usually there.  “What is it, Jean?” he finally asked, his voice rumbling low as he kissed her neck.

Jean took a deep breath, her hand caressing his back.  “I don’t know.  It’s just a feeling.  I just,” she bit her lip.  “I just don’t want to let you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Jean.”

She nodded.  “I know.  Just,” but she didn’t finish.

Rolling off her, Lionel sat up and pulled the covers up over them before laying back down and spooning their bodies together.  “I’m right here,” he assured her again as he entwined their fingers, tucking their joined hands under her breasts.

“So many years,” she finally whispered after a few moments of simply letting his warmth comfort her.

“Shh.  No _what ifs_ , no _so many years_.  We’re not alone anymore.  We’re lying in our bed after having made love on a quiet afternoon, holding each other, bodies still pressed together.”  Lionel tried his best to assure her, although he was rather confused by her sudden melancholy.  Not that this was the first time she’d done this after they made love, but he hadn’t understood any better the other times than he did this one.

Jean felt a shiver run down her spine and shifted closer to Lionel.  “Hold me tight, Lionel.”

“I’ve got you.”

 

~*~

 

“I don’t give a tinker’s damn!  I’m not letting some maniac stop me from going shopping.  It isn’t as if I’m going shopping just to go shopping.  There are things I need.  The man didn’t exactly threaten me.”  M narrowed her eyes at the agent standing glaring down at her.  “Besides, I do happen to have a bodyguard, remember?”

“Not enough.  Damn it, M.  Q branch still hasn’t traced where the call came from.  And I don’t care if the caller to quote you, didn’t exactly threaten you, what he did say was a threat in itself.”  James’ blue eyes flashed when she deepened her glare.

“I can take care of myself, James.  I was a double-o.  I may be older, but I can still defend myself if the need arises.”

“Damn it, M, I know that.  But I still don’t like you going out with just one guard.”

“Fine then.  I’ll take a second.”

“I’m going with you.”

“No,” she shook her head.  “You have an assignment to prepare for.  I’ll be just fine.”

James scowled at her.  “Damn fool woman,” he grumbled as he left her office.

“I heard that!  Watch yourself, double-o seven!”  M shouted after the man, rolling her eyes in frustration.  Any other agent she would have had their heads for such insubordination, but James she merely yelled at as he was walking away.

“M?  Is everything alright?”  Eve asked, appearing at the opened door.  “James stormed out of here with a face like thunder.”

“I’m fine, Eve.  James and I were just having another of our many rows.  The usual.”  M sighed, “I’m leaving for the day, Eve.  Can you call down and tell them to have my car ready?  And tell them to add another guard as well.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”  Eve answered, frowning as she turned back toward her desk.  The row she’d heard wasn’t typical of Bond and M’s many arguments.  She usually took M’s side, but this time, James Bond was right.  M needed more protection, needed to take this seriously.  Boss lady was being very foolish.

 

~*~

 

Jean’s eyes widened as she struggled against the men holding her arms.  “Let me go!” she cried and struggled again.

“Shut up,” the man on her left hissed.  “You know the drill.”

“I know nothing of the sort!”  Jean shouted, earning a tighter grip on her arm that caused her eyes to water.  “You’re hurting me.”

“That’s the point.  Now shut up and get in.”  The man on her right growled as he shoved her in the car.

Jean’s heart was pounding, her body beginning to tremble.  She was being kidnapped.  “Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t be coy, M.  Playing stupid doesn’t work with us.  We know who you are.”

“M?  My name is Jean.”

“That may be the name you go by on the outside, but we know who you are on the inside.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.  I’ve never gone by anything other than Jean!”

“He said she was a cunning bitch, but he never said she was so bloody chatty.”

“Well, chloroform her,” the man in the front passenger seat nearly shouted.  “Just shut her the hell up.  Let him listen to her chatter.”

Jean’s eyes widened as she watched the brute on her left pull out a handkerchief and douse it with what she could only assume was chloroform.  The sickeningly sweet smell made her nauseous and she struggled, slamming the heel of her shoe down on the toes of the man on her right side’s foot.

“Ow!  Damn it!” he hissed as he slapped her.  “Bloody bitch!”

Holding her breath, Jean fought not to breathe but a sudden pain in her side caused her to gasp, and the world around her suddenly spiraled and disappeared.

“The next time, he does the kidnapping himself.  I think she broke my toe!”

“Oh shut up!”

“He isn’t going to like the scene she caused.  I’m sure you were seen by several people.”

“We were at a crowded shopping mall.  It would have been impossible not to be seen.”

“He’ll think of something if it’s reported.  I’m sure he’ll say we were taking a patient back to hospital or some such thing.”

 

~*~

 

M blinked.  Had she just saw what she thought?  Her phone rang and she frowned at the number.  “Yes?” she answered, her frown deepening at the surprise on the other end.  “Well obviously I wasn’t kidnapped.  I’ll be there.  Keep it quiet, Bill.  We’ve got trouble.  They have someone, but she isn’t me.”

“I told you.” 

M scowled as she turned to face the man she’d known was following her.  “Shut up, Bond, and get in the car.  We’re going back to headquarters.”

“Who was that woman?  She looked just like you.  Was even dressed the same.”

“I don’t know who she was.  All I know is, that call wasn’t threatening me, it was a warning.”

“But who?”

“I don’t know, Bond, but we’re going to find out.  We have to get that woman back.  She won’t know what to do.”

“She was putting up a fairly good fight.  Seems she has your spirit.”

“Be that as it may, she doesn’t have my training.”  M bit her lip as she stared out the window at the passing scenery.  “They’ll torture her, James,” she whispered.  “They’ll think she’s withholding the information they want because of training that doesn’t exist, and they’ll hurt her.  They’ll break her.”

James reached out and squeezed M’s hand.  “We’ll get her back, M.  This isn’t your fault.  You had no idea there was a woman in London that looked as though she could be your twin.”

M nodded as the car stopped, James opening the door and getting out, turning to help M before her guard managed to open her door.  “Thank you.” 

“M.”  Bill greeted her from the lift.  “What’s going on?” he asked as they headed up toward Q branch.

“They think they have me, Bill.  I saw the woman, but didn’t realize what I had witnessed the end of until I got the call from you.  I want Q to get access to the security cameras.  We need to find out who that woman is.  Whoever these people are, if they find out they don’t have me,” she stopped and paled.  “Get me out of here!” she hissed as she tugged at James’ hand.  “Get me out of here!”

James didn’t question just took off at a dead run after the lift doors opened, turning down the hall and using the private lift, taking her down to the car park where his car was at.  “What is it?” he finally asked as he helped her in.

“Just get me out of here.  Hurry.”  M pleaded even as she took out her phone, dialing Q’s mobile number.  “Q, erase the last few minutes of security footage and anything that shows anyone has been in contact with me.  Tanner will fill you in on what’s going on.”

James, after hearing her conversation, understood now what was going on.  “You think it’s someone here.”

“I don’t know.  It could be someone here, or it could be someone on the outside but with access to our information.  All I know is, I can’t be seen.”

“Then I can’t take you home.  And I can’t take you to my flat.  Where?”

“Just keep driving until we have an id on the woman.  I have a feeling I’m going to have to switch places with her.”

“Become her?”

“It’s the only answer I can think of.  If they find out they don’t have me, they’ll kill her.”


	2. Chapter 2

M was taken aback for only a moment when she saw the man who opened the door.  How is it that her doppelganger just happened to be married to a man that looked exactly like the bloody Admiral Roebuck that she still scowled at when they crossed each other’s paths?  And how had she not known this before she appeared on his doorstep?

“Jean?”  Lionel said her name.  “Why didn’t you use your key?  And where is your shopping?”

M stepped inside and closed the door behind her before turning to look up at the man.  “I’m not Jean, Mr. Hardcastle.  I just happen to look like your wife.”

Lionel frowned.  “Jean, what sort of nonsense is this?  Did Alistair or the girls put you up to this?”

Touching the man’s arm, M felt sorry for him, knowing how confusing this must be.  “Can we go through to the living room?  I have some things to explain to you and I think you should be sitting down.”

Lionel studied the woman in front of him.  She looked like his wife, sounded like his wife, but the love he always saw shining in his wife’s eyes wasn’t there.  “You really aren’t Jean,” he whispered as he led her into the other room.  “Where is she?  What’s happened?”

“She’s been kidnapped, Mr. Hardcastle.  Some people are trying to hurt me, and your wife got caught in the mess.  In a rare coincidence, we wound up dressed alike and at the same place and they mistook her for me.  I’m so very sorry.”

“Who are you?”

“I can’t tell you who I am.  All I can tell you is that for the next little while, I’m going to be your wife.  Your Jean.  I have to be to keep her safe.”

Lionel blinked in surprise.  If the woman sitting in front of him couldn’t tell him who she was, was going to pretend to be his wife…good lord.  SIS?  Damn and blast.  “They’ll,” he started then took a deep breath.  “Do we tell the others?  Jean’s daughter and secretary also live here.”

“No, we don’t tell anyone else.”  M smiled kindly at him.  “I only told you because I wanted you to know that I’m not your wife.  I don’t want you to break vows you made to her, even if it would have been unwittingly.”

Lionel nodded.  “Thank you for that.”

“I could tell that you believed me after you looked into my eyes.  If whatever you didn’t find gave me away to you, then we have to keep me away from your step-daughter and the other young lady that lives here.  Is there anyway we can do that?”

Lionel thought a moment.  “The girls are gone for the weekend so that’s covered.  There’s always the house in the country.  The girls have been telling Jean she needs a break.  They would think nothing of it if I phoned to tell them I’d convinced Jean to go to the country for a week.”

M nodded.  “Alright then.  Is there anyone we need to worry about there?”

“My father is off somewhere with his wife, so we won’t have to worry about them dropping in.  Mrs. Bale will be there, but she leaves us alone except for meal times.”  Lionel rolled his eyes.  “Well, unless something’s going on in the village.”

“We’ll worry about that if it happens.”  M thought a moment.  “Would it be possible to convince this Mrs. Bale to take the week we’re there off?  I assume your wife can cook.”

“She can, as can I.”  Lionel bit his lip.  “I don’t know how easy,” then he stopped and looked down at his hands.

“What is it, Mr. Hardcastle?”

“It’s just that Jean seemed to know something was going to happen.”  Shaking his head, he looked back up at M.  “I think I could convince Mrs. Bale to leave us be for the week.  Jean’s and my anniversary is coming up.”

“I’ll try my best to have her home to you before then, Mr. Hardcastle.”  M reassured, hoping against hope she could do just that.

 

~*~

 

James stood watching Q as he tried to find any sign of who it was that had taken the woman they thought was M.  “Anything?”

Q sighed in frustration.  “Double-o seven, do stop questioning me every five seconds.”

“I’m sorry, Quartermaster.”  James apologized to the older gentleman.

“It’s quite alright, double-o seven.”  Q looked at the screen and smiled when he got a hit on a face.  “Ah, we’ve got at least one.  Here.”

James looked at the face and name.  He was still reading when another screen popped up with the info on the other man that had taken Mrs. Jean Hardcastle.  “Who can we trust, Q?  At this point, I’m at a loss.”

Q looked at James in surprise.  “The great double-o seven at a loss?”

“This is M we’re talking about Q.”

“How do you know it isn’t me behind all of this?”

“Quartermaster.”  James scowled at him.  “I know you.”

“That doesn’t mean it isn’t me.”

“Damn it, it isn’t you.  You would never do this.  You could never betray us like this.  I know it in here.”  James tapped his heart.

“Then that’s how you’ll know who to trust.”  Q patted James on the shoulder.  “Trust your instincts like you always have, James.  Don’t let your feelings for M get in the way.”

James blinked.  “What do you mean?”

“I’m not blind, double-o seven.  Give an old man some credit.”

“I’m sorry, Q.”  James sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.  “It’s best left here between us.  She’s married.”

“Is she?”  Q asked.  “You’d be surprised, double-o seven.”  Q handed James a couple of gadgets.  “Now, go see if you can find these men.”

James put the gadgets in his pocket as he nodded, his mind too busy trying to work out just what Q had meant to actually say anything.  Walking to the secret passageway’s door, he pushed the button to let himself out. 

First things first.

Contact M.

 

~*~

 

Jean blinked against the bright light, shivering in the cold air of the room she was in.  Realizing she was tied to a chair, stripped down to nothing but her undergarments, she closed her eyes again and tried desperately to calm the frantic beating of her heart. 

Forcing herself to concentrate on the training she’d had as a nurse, though it was something she’d not used in years, she assessed each part of her body going by the way it felt.  Pain still radiated from her side, and she realized with startling clarity that she could feel something warm and sticky on her skin – blood.

“Let me go!” she yelled as she struggled against her bindings.

“I will when you tell me what I want to know, M.”

Jean scowled and rolled her eyes.  “My name is Jean!  Do you need an ear horn?”

“Sarcasm.  So very like you, M.”

“Jean!” she yelled at the disembodied voice.

“Who is the Phantom?”

“The only Phantom I know anything about is The Phantom of the Opera.”  Jean answered.

A figure appeared, and a hand rained a stinging slap to her cheek.  “Enough, M.  That isn’t going to work.  I want to know who the Phantom is.”

Jean worked her jaw and sighed, “My name is Jean.”

Another slap, this time bloodying her lip.  “I know the training you’ve had, M.  I know how to break you.  Keep it up if you like.  I’ll eventually get what I want.”

“Training?”  Jean asked, clearly confused, her face hurting.  “What has my training as a nurse to do with this?”

A growl rumbled in her ear.  “Keep playing games and you’ll never see the light of day or your precious MI6 again.”

Jean blinked in surprise.  MI6?  They think she’s a bloody spy?  “You have the wrong woman,” she muttered but got no response.  Working her lower lip back and forth, she tried to work out the pain.  Closing her eyes, she let her mind wander to Lionel.  He had to be terribly worried.  Did he know what had happened to her?  Then she sighed, she didn’t even know how long she’d been here.  If she hadn’t been gone long enough, Lionel would simply think she’d gotten busy shopping and lost track of the time.

“Oh Lionel,” she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.  Now she understood the feeling she’d had after they made love.  Somehow she’d known something bad was going to happen.

 

~*~

 

“Have they sent any word as to what they want?”  M asked James who had suddenly appeared in the room Lionel had made up for her.

“Are you sure it’s safe to talk here?”

“He’s not even in the house, James.”  M sighed and rubbed her eyes.  “The man is upset.  He’s spent most of his time in the gardens since we arrived here.  He’s very much in love with his wife, and he’s learned that she’s been mistakenly taken.  I didn’t tell him who I am, but I believe he’s guessed that I’m involved in intelligence.”

James reached out and squeezed M’s hand.  “There’s been no word, Ma’am,” he whispered, holding her gaze when she looked up at him.

M was startled at the contact, and it clearly showed in her eyes, but she didn’t draw her hand away.  It was comforting.  Shaking the feelings off a moment later, she took her hand back.  “I’m married, double-o seven.”

“Are you?”  James asked, remembering what Q had implied.

M blinked in surprise.  “Of course I am,” she insisted in a warning tone.

“I saw that look, M.  Are you really married?  Or is it just a cover?”

M sighed and turned to look out the window.  “Can we not have this discussion now, Bond?  I’ve more important things to think about right now.”  Spotting Lionel, she felt her eyes water.  “Look, Bond.  Look at that man out there.  He’s sitting in the cold mist, completely lost.  Bringing his wife back to him is all that matters now.”

James moved to the window, staring at the man M had pointed out.  “Alright,” he whispered.  “Maybe you should go bring him inside.  No need for him to get sick.”

M nodded.  “Just get me some information, Bond.  I promised I’d do my best to get his wife home to him before their anniversary.”

“I’ll do my best, Ma’am.”  James told her quietly as he watched her slip into her coat.  “I won’t call.  I’ll just show up again when I have something.”

“Fine.”  M told him just as she disappeared out into the hall.

James could hear her footsteps on the stairs then the door opening and closing and he turned to watch out the window as she made her way to the lonely man sitting in the garden.  He’d never really seen a softer side to M, and it rattled him a bit to see it now.  Would it affect the way she handled this mess?

“I suppose only time will tell.”

 

~*~

 

“Mr. Hardcastle.”  M whispered Lionel’s name as she neared him.  “It’s rather chilly and wet to be sitting outside.  You’ll catch your death.”

“Jean was a nurse,” he whispered.

“She was?”  M asked, though she already knew that about the woman.  No sense giving the man anymore reason to believe his suspicions about just who she was.

“During the war when we met.”

“I’d like to hear more, but let’s go inside and warm up.  I don’t think your Jean would appreciate another woman who’s supposed to be watching out for her husband letting him get sick.”

Lionel shook his head and looked up at M.  “She wouldn’t appreciate another woman looking after me, period.  Especially not another woman that looks exactly like her.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Hardcastle.  I know that doesn’t make it better, but it’s all that I have.”  M held out her hand.  “Come on then.  Let me help you inside.  I’ll fix you something warm to eat while you change clothes.  You can tell me all about your Jean and how you met.”

Lionel looked at the outstretched hand so much like that of his wife’s and swallowed as he reached out, shuttering when he touched the soft skin.  He felt scars on a few of the fingertips and looked down at the woman next to him as they walked back to the house.  “What happened?” he asked as he turned her hand up and caressed the worst of the scars.

“Touched something that was much too hot.”  M answered vaguely, not lying, but not telling the complete truth.

Opening the door for her, Lionel helped her off with her coat once he’d closed and locked the door behind them.  “Barrel of a gun, I suspect.”

M blinked up at him in surprise.  How had he guessed that?  “Really?”

“Saw it happen to a few of the men in my regiment.  They were young and inexperienced with guns.”  He studied M.  “Although I suspect you were anything but inexperienced.”

“What would you like for dinner?”  M asked to change the subject.  The man was getting a bit too close to the truth for comfort.

“I’m sorry, I won’t ask anymore questions.  Soup would be nice.”

“Soup it is.  Now go on, change out of those wet clothes.”

Lionel nodded and trudged up the stairs.  “You’re more like her than just your looks,” he whispered just before he disappeared from view.

M blinked, tears filling her eyes.  She could hear pain in that whisper.  There was something that had happened to Lionel and Jean in the past that was similar to what was happening now.  At least in the part of pulling them apart.  He’d said they’d met during the war, but yet she knew from everything her people had been able to find on Jean Hardcastle, that she and Lionel had only been married a year.  Something had pulled them apart, kept them from marrying.

“I suppose you’ll learn over dinner.  If you ever fix it.”  She rolled her eyes at herself as she moved into the kitchen which was thankfully well stocked with a variety of things already prepared.  “Soup must be a favorite of the Hardcastles,” she muttered as she stared at the different types sitting in containers in the refrigerator.

“Mrs. Bale made all of that up for us.  She told me she didn’t want us to have to cook all the time we’re here.”  Lionel spoke up as he came into the kitchen a few moments later, watching as M stirred the simmering meal.

“She must think a lot of the two of you.”

“She’d never say, but she’s quite fond of Jean.”

“Tell me more about how you met.”  M turned to smile at him before moving to slice some bread.

“I asked her for directions to Curzon Street.”

M raised her eyebrow at that.  “Curzon Street?  Whatever for?”

Lionel smiled as he looked off, back into the past.  “She was so very beautiful, she took my breath away.  I knew I had to get to know her.  I walked up to her, and the first thing out of my mouth was, _“Do you know the way to Curzon Street.”_   She had me completely,”

“Befuddled?”  M supplied the word with a smile.

“I suppose so.  I was never very good with words to begin with and there was just something about her.”

“You fell in love with her that day, didn’t you?”

Lionel nodded as he took his seat at the table.  “Thank you,” he said when M sat a bowl of soup in front of him with a plate holding two pieces of buttered bread.

“You’re welcome.”  M told him as she took her own seat and picked up her spoon.  “Now go on with the story.”

“Yes, I fell in love with her that day.  We spent as much time together as was possible due to her nursing schedule and my regimental duties.  Any time I got a pass, I spent the time with her.”

“Then what happened?  Why have you only been married for a year?”

“I was sent to Korea.”

“But surely she loved you enough to wait.”

“She did love me, but the postal service didn’t.”

M frowned.  “What?”

“Jean and I were torn apart by a lost letter.  I wrote to her, but she never received the letter.  While I was brooding, thinking that she hadn’t cared as much for me as I did her, that absence hadn’t made her heart grow fonder…she was broken hearted thinking that I had only been playing at loving her.”

“Oh my.  But surely you wrote again?”  M asked before sipping at her soup.

“No, I didn’t.  Pride and stupidity I suppose kept me from it.  I finished my service and then after coming home to visit my parents, I went to Kenya.  I spent over thirty years there.”

“Didn’t she try to find you?”

“No.  She was hurt and just as prideful as I was.  She met and married Judy’s father about a year later.”

“How did the two of you meet again after so many years?”

Lionel smiled then took a bite of his bread.  Swallowing, he looked up at M.  “Her secretarial agency.”

“Really?”  M shook her head and chuckled.  “So?”

“I took her daughter out for dinner.”

M spluttered at that.  “You did what?”

Lionel laughed at her reaction.  “I did.  Of course, the date didn’t go well because when I went to pick Judy up, I met her mother.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh.  All through dinner I kept asking questions about Jean to the point of exasperating Judy.  I finally told her to ask her mother.”

“And did Jean remember you?”

“Yes, she did.  I had a very angry Judy visit me at the hotel the next day.”

“Why was she angry?”

“Because I’d hurt her mother.”

“I’m confused.”

“Jean told her side of the story.  And then when I was confronted by Judy, I told my side.  Judy is the one that realized that something wasn’t adding up.  I went to see Jean but she had left her office to find me.  We finally managed to meet and as we talked, we realized what had happened.”

“And you married.”

“No.  It wasn’t as simple as that.  Judy developed a crush on me, and my boy publisher developed a crush on Jean.  We had to take care of that before we could fix things between us.”  Lionel finished his soup and drink, then stared at his hands.  “Once that was taken care of, we began to see each other.  After a few missteps along the way, we began to live together and then married.”  Looking up at M, he reached out and clasped her hand.  “You have to find her.  I don’t want to be lost again.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware this chapter. It's mostly dark, although there is a bit of fun involving Penny and Stephen (at least I hope I accomplished that...I'm not sure about it myself).

 

 

 

 

James slammed his fist into his prisoner’s gut, scowling at him.  “Who do you work for?!” he shouted at the man.  Getting no answer, he backhanded him.  “I _will_ get the truth out of you!”

Grinning like a maniac, the man shook his head.  “There is no truth.”

“Speaking in riddles isn’t going to help you.  No one knows I’ve found you, I can do whatever I like to you to get the answers.”  James threatened.

“There is no truth.”

James backhanded the man again and walked out of the room.  Looking up at his companion, he sighed, “You do what you have to.  I need to go find the other one.  Maybe he’ll be easier to get an answer out of.”

“James, I don’t think you’re going to get anything out of either of them.  The man isn’t talking in riddles, he doesn’t know who he works for.”

“Damn it.  Why did you have to say it out loud?”  James hissed as he scrubbed a hand over his face.  “I’m still going to find the other one.”

“Do you think that’s wise?  We still haven’t gotten any sort of call from whoever this is.  Catching one,” the woman bit her lip.

“Might have been a setup.”  James finished as he slammed his hand against the wall.  “Damn it all to hell!  It’s bad enough I’ve gone underground and had to drag you and Q into this, but to not be able to do anything for fear of it causing her more danger,” he stopped and shook his head.

“Q and I weren’t dragged into anything, James.”  Moneypenny smiled up at the man.  “You know that you can trust us without question.  We’re all you had, but we didn’t need convincing.  M’s been good to me.  And Q, well, he’s seen his fair share of M’s.  I think he’s rather fond of this one.”

“I think he knows a lot more about this one than anyone realizes.”  James whispered.

Moneypenny nodded.  “I’m sure he does.  He’s been Q longer than either of us have been with MI6.  He was probably Q when M was a double-o.”

“She must have been deadly.  She some times scares me with just a look, and I’m on her side.”

Moneypenny laughed at that.  “And it’s a good thing too.”

James nodded and smiled.  “I’d be dead by now if I wasn’t.”

“True.”  Moneypenny reached out and rested her hand on his arm.  “You’re doing everything you can, James.  We all are.  You can trust Bill, you know.”

“I do know.  I also know that we can’t bring him underground because someone has to fill in for M.”

“Speaking of which, I need to return to work.  If I’m gone too long, someone might get suspicious.”

“Thanks, Moneypenny.”

“What do we do with him?” she asked as she looked at their prisoner.

“Leave him.”

 

~*~

 

Jean squirmed in her chair, her arms and legs achingly numb, though the thought was completely contradictory.  She kept her eyes closed, the blinding light felt as though it was burning holes in her pupils even through her closed lids.  She was so cold her teeth chattered, and the hunger was gnawing at her stomach.  Her mouth was dry to the point of making her throat sore from the yelling and screaming she’d done.

But all of it didn’t matter. 

She’d determined that she was probably going to die here.  Tears filled her eyes as she thought about Lionel, Judy, and Sandy, the three people she cared for the most.  “Let me go!” she cried as she struggled against her bonds.  “I’m not the woman you think I am!”

“Tears, M?  Do you think that will convince me you are this Jean person?” the disembodied voice she’d been hearing for all of the hours, or was it days?, she’d been here, mocked her.

Jean opened her eyes when the bright light was gone.  The room was pitch black and she could hear movement.  She tensed, waiting with shallow breath to see what was going to happen.  She felt her muscles begin to cramp, but fear kept her from relaxing.  With each movement, she tensed a little more.  Tears rolled fast and steady down her cheeks and she felt her fear gripping her heart in a tight vice making her chest hurt.

The noise continued, moving closer, then further away.  As she listened, she became disoriented, jumping when something touched her bare foot.  Crying out when an electric current shot through her, she swallowed hard then took several deep breaths, trying to get her heart to slow its rapid pace. 

Just as she had her heart relatively calm, the electric current spread through her again from the sole of her other foot.  Crying out again, she felt nausea slowly creeping over her, a ringing in her ears as her heart pounded.  The third jolt hit her in the thigh and was stronger than the ones on her feet, causing her to lean over and wretch. 

Spitting out as much of the vile taste in her mouth as she could, she sat up, and screamed, “I’m not her!  Please stop!  I don’t know what you want!”

Over and over again the pain continued until the dry heaves and her screams left her with a voice barely there, and a raw throat.

“I’m not her,” she whimpered before blacking out, the pain and exhaustion finally overwhelming her.

 

~*~

 

“Oh damn and blast.”  Lionel growled as he looked out to see who was driving up to the house.

“What is it?”  M asked as she came into the room.

“We have company.”

“Oh?  Who is it?”

“Penny and Stephen, Jean’s sister-in-law and her husband.”

M watched the couple as they got out of the car, and could hear the woman nattering on at her husband, who didn’t seem to be listening only nodding.  “That is your sister?”

“Oh no!”  Lionel’s eyes widened.  “That,” he hissed as he pointed to Penny.  “is nothing to do with me.  I’m an only child, thank god.”  He rolled his eyes when he heard Penny and Stephen drawing nearer the door.  “She’s Jean’s first husband’s sister.”

“Alright then.  Do I need to worry about her noticing I’m not Jean?”

Lionel laughed at that.  “Penny doesn’t notice anything but the sound of her voice.”

M chuckled, “Fine then.  Let them in while I go make some tea.”

“I’ll do my best to get them to leave.  I’ve no idea how she always seems to know where we are.  I’m sure the girls wouldn’t have told her.”

“Answer the door before she gets more impatient.”  M laughed.

Lionel scowled at her then schooled his features and opened the door.  “Penny.  Stephen.  What brings you here?”

Penny pushed inside.  “We decided a visit while you were in the country would be a jolly good idea.  How’s Jean?” she asked.

“I’m fine.”  M said as she came through.  “I’ve just put the kettle on for some tea.”

“Hello, Jean.”  Stephen said as he kissed her cheek.

“Hello, Stephen.”  M smiled at him.

“Poor Jean.”  Penny sighed.

M frowned as she looked quickly up at Lionel.  _Poor Jean?_ she mouthed to which he merely shrugged causing her to roll her eyes.  _Thank you for that._   “I’ve no idea what you’re going on about, Penny.  I’m not poor Jean.”  _If only you knew how true that was,_ she thought.

“Oh but look at you.  You look tired.  Hasn’t Lionel been taking care of you?  You are here for a bit of a rest from work, aren’t you?”

“Lionel has taken very good care of me.”  M insisted as she moved next to Lionel, taking his hand.  “And I’m not here to take a bit of a rest from work,” she growled.  “Excuse me, I think I hear the kettle.”

Lionel had to bite his lip at the look on Penny’s face.  “Go on through to the den, I’ll help Jean with the tea.”

Penny stopped him, a hand on his arm.  “What’s gotten into Jean?  I’ve never heard her talk to me that way.  She isn’t ill is she?”

“She’s fine, Penny.”  Lionel insisted then made his way through to the kitchen.

“What the hell was that?”  M demanded quietly when Lionel stopped beside her at the table. 

“That was Penny.  She always says that to Jean.”  He smirked when M scowled at him.  “I know, I could have warned you, but it was worth it seeing the look on Penny’s face,” he told her quietly.  “You’ve confused her.  Jean never talks to her like that.”

“I’ll try to remember myself, but it will be difficult.”  M grumbled.

“Oh no you don’t!”  Lionel insisted quietly.  “This is the first time Penny will be put in her place, and I’m going to sit back and enjoy it.”

“You’ve an evil streak, Mr. Hardcastle.”  M shook her head as she finished putting things on the tray.  “Come on then, or she’ll be in here after us.”

Lionel lifted the tray.  “After you,” he whispered, still trying to contain his glee at what was to come.

“Behave.”  M scolded gently, glad to see a bit of brightness in the man after the last few days.

 

~*~

 

“Poor Jean.  You really don’t look yourself.”  Penny started in again.

M gritted her teeth as she took a sip of her tea.  “The only reason I may possibly have for being poor Jean is that my wedding anniversary trip has been interrupted.”

Lionel bit his lip as he watched the woman continue to confound Penny.  Looking at Stephen was a mistake, and he had to cough to cover up his laugh.

“Everything alright, old chap?”  Stephen asked.

Lionel covered his mouth and coughed again before he could answer.  “I’m fine.  Just a bit of a tickle in the throat.”

Penny scowled at Jean.  “What’s gotten into you, Jean?  I’ve never heard you talk like that.”

M shrugged.  “You’ve never interrupted,” she shrugged again and gave a meaningful look in Lionel’s direction.

Lionel nearly choked on his tea at the look.  The woman was good.  Clearing his throat, he waited to see if Penny would catch on.  He didn’t have to wait long.

“No need to be vulgar, Jean.”

“Me?”  M asked innocently as she batted her eyes and refilled her tea cup.

Stephen looked at M, his eyes wide.  “My word,” he muttered. 

“Oh shut up, Stephen.”  Penny groused and stood up.  “If this is the way Jean’s going to act, we’ll just go home.”

“I am sorry, Penny, but Lionel did bring me here for a bit of alone time.  I’m not supposed to know this, but I believe part of the reason he brought me to the country is so that the girls and Alistair could plan a surprise party.”  Looking at Penny, she smiled sweetly.  “You have been invited, haven’t you?”

Lionel felt like he was going to choke.  This woman (it annoyed him that he didn’t know her real name) was good, very good.  And he was wicked for enjoying this as much as he was.

“Go home, Penn?  We just got here.”

“I really would appreciate it, Stephen.”  M gave him the same sweet smile.  “You understand wanting to spend time alone with your spouse, don’t you?”

Stephen was completely lost with that question.  Spend time alone with Penny, on purpose?  “Oh, sure,” he mumbled.  “Come on then.  Let’s leave the two alone.”

“Thanks, Stephen.”  Lionel smiled at the man, wondering how in the world he ever made it as a dentist.  Or maybe he was just this way around Penny?  She did have a way of rattling people’s wits.  Then he smirked.  Well, not everyone’s wits it would seem.

M put down her tea cup and stood up.  Moving to Stephen, she stood on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek.  “Thank you very much, Stephen.  Lionel and I will see you and Penny at the party.”

Penny huffed as she followed Stephen toward the door.  “I still don’t see what all the fuss is about.  A few hours time with company,”

“Penny.”  Lionel sighed.  “Jean and I will be celebrating our first anniversary.  It’s a very special anniversary for us.”

“One would think you were still newlyweds.”  Penny muttered.

“Aren’t we?”  M asked as she moved next to Lionel, wrapping her arm around his waist.  She felt him tense then relax, and for a moment she hated this charade, but then she found herself again and held Penny’s gaze.  “You must remember how special your first anniversary was.”

“Well, of course I do.  But Jean, Stephen and I were young.”

M scowled.  “And what’s that to do with anything?  Are you saying that Lionel and I are too old?”

“Oh!”  Penny huffed and shook her head.  “Ta.”

“Ta.”  M called as she watched Stephen and Penny walk out to their car.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered to Lionel as he closed the door and turned to stare at her.  “I’ve probably just caused your Jean a year’s worth of groveling, but my word!  How do you put up with that woman?”

“When Jean learns of this, she’ll be just as amazed as I am.  And, I don’t know that you’ll have caused her any trouble.  Penny needed to be put in her place, and you’ve done just that.  None of us have ever been able to come back at her and not let her rattle us.  What I want to know is, how did you know about the party?”

M laughed at that.  “I didn’t.  I was just making it up.  You mean there really is going to be a party?”

Lionel nodded then sighed and looked away.  “There’s supposed to be.”

All joviality gone, M placed her hand on Lionel’s arm.  “I’m still going to try, Mr. Hardcastle.”

“But if you do, she won’t be the same.  She won’t be my Jean.”

M smiled softly at him.  “I have a feeling, Mr. Hardcastle, that she’s always been _your Jean_.  She’ll still be your Jean, she’ll just need an extra bit of loving care.  Something I’m sure you’ll be able to give her in abundance.  She’s a very lucky woman, your Jean.”

Lionel heard something in M’s voice.  “Don’t you have a husband?”

“I do.”  M nodded.  “But,” she shook her head and walked back through to the den to gather the tea things.

“But?  Doesn’t he love you?”

Lifting the tray, M turned and looked up at Lionel.  “Not like you love Jean.”

Lionel watched her walk away, this was a woman of mystery with a sadness in her eyes that seemed to haunt her.  What man couldn’t love her?  She was so much like his Jean that he couldn’t imagine a man lucky enough to be married to her, not loving her.

But then again, for every bit that was like Jean, there was an equal number that was just the opposite.  Maybe, the things he didn’t know about her were what kept her husband from loving her like a man should love his wife.

 

~*~

 

Q stared at the screen of his computer.  Why would anyone be searching through the records for information on the Phantom?  As far as he knew, there were only two people alive that knew anything about Phantom – himself and Phantom.  If there was someone else out there, they had trouble.

Picking up the phone, he dialed a number.  “We’ve trouble,” was all he said before hanging up.  Shutting down his search, he cleared out his history so that it would be impossible for anyone to even find a hint as to what he’d been doing.  Not that he’d left much in the way of a trail to begin with.  He was the quartermaster after all, and had been for all these years because he was careful.

Taking off his lab coat and replacing it with his trench coat and hat, he took one last look around his work area to make sure nothing was left out that shouldn’t be.  Not that anyone was around to be snooping, but that wasn’t an excuse to be careless.  Nodding in satisfaction that everything was well, he slipped through the secret passage.

Using the gadget in his pocket, he made sure the cameras showed him coming from a different location, timing it perfectly to switch back to the real feed just as he was climbing into his car.  Whoever they were dealing with wasn’t going to learn anything from him, not if he could help it.

Driving out into the daylight, he sighed as he thought about the consequences of someone learning the identity of Phantom.  The Phantom didn’t even know that there was someone around that knew their identity.  Q had only learned it accidently, and had kept the knowledge to himself.  Until now.

Now, years of keeping a secret was about to change.  The current M needed to know what they were dealing with.  His ringing phone startled him out of his thoughts.  “Yes, double-o seven.  I’m on my way to see M.  I know.  I know.  Don’t fuss.  It can’t be helped.  No.  I don’t need you there.  I’ll fill you in if and when I have permission.”  Q rolled his eyes at the grumbling.  “I’m going now, double-o seven,” he told the younger man then promptly hung up on him.  He had no time for spoiled agents.

 

~*~

 

Jean jolted awake with a cry when she felt a sharp poke at her ribs.  “I’m not her!” she tried to scream but sounded more like she was croaking.

“Enough denial.  I’m sick of your games.  You’ll tell me what I want to know, or I’ll find your favorite agent and dismember him right before your eyes.”

Jean blinked and cried out as best she could.  “I don’t have a favorite agent.  I’m not her!”  Her denial brought about another painful jab, this one bringing blood.  Squirming, she tried to scoot away, but the feel of cool metal against her cheek stopped her movement.

“He’s partial to beautiful women.  I’ve seen the way he looks at you, though I’m not sure what he sees in an old bitch like you.  I always thought he had a thing for young women.”

Jean closed her eyes and breathed as slowly as she possibly could, trying not to do anything to antagonize the madman any more.  Tensing as she waited to see what would happen next, she swallowed her scream when the knife sliced down her hair line, leaving a trail of fire and blood.

“He’ll not want you when I’m through with you.  Whatever it is he sees, he’ll not be able to look past the ugliness to find.”

Jean continued to bite her lip, tears rolling down her cheeks.  She knew the man was talking about an agent, but her mind was on Lionel.  Would he still love her after this man was through with her?  Would Lionel be able to look past the scars and see the woman he’d loved and lost then found again?

A sob escaped as another cut was made on her face because she knew the answer.

Lionel would never leave her again.

No matter what happened.

Their love had survived a thirty-eight year separation, cuts and scars weren’t going to tear them apart.

“Lionel,” she breathed as she passed out.

“Who the hell is Lionel?”

“How do I know?  She does have a life outside of MI6, maybe he’s her husband.”

“Well, whoever he is, matters little to me.  I want her broke.  I want to know who the Phantom is.”

“Why is it so important to know who this Phantom is?”

“It’s none of your concern.  Just get me what I want.”


	4. Chapter 4

M blinked in surprise at the man standing on the other side of the door.  “Q?”

“Yes, I know.  You’ve never seen me outside my lab, but it’s important that we talk.”  He looked about.  “Is it safe?”

“Yes, come in.”  She stepped back to let him pass then closed the door before turning toward the kitchen.  “We can talk over a cup of tea.  Mr. Hardcastle went into the village for a pint.”

Q nodded and sat down at the table.  “You got my message?”

“I did.”  M answered as she poured hot water into the pot, wetting the tea.  “What is it?”

“Whoever kidnapped Mrs. Hardcastle has been searching through the archived files looking for information about Phantom.”

“Phantom?”

“Before this goes any further, you must know that I’ve known who Phantom is for years.  I am the only one alive besides Phantom that knows their identity.”

M blinked.  “You know who Phantom is?  How?”

“The ring Phantom used for their poison.  It was one I designed.  Only I knew about it because I’d kept it hidden away as a secret project.  I had just finished it when it went missing.  I was still searching for it when I saw it on an agent’s finger as they were leaving headquarters.  Then later I saw the report come through about a kill that had been poisoned but no one knew how it had been administered.  Of course that was Phantom’s first kill, it wasn’t until later that I realized what I’d unwittingly learned.  I’ve never told a soul, not even the M of that time.”

“Why did you never tell Phantom or M that you knew the truth?”

“I thought it best not to.  As long as no one knew about me, the safer the secret was.”  Q sipped at the tea M had poured him moments before.  “I’m not trained like the rest of you are, M.  If someone learned that I knew about Phantom, one of the intelligence world’s best kept and well guarded secrets, and decided to take me and interrogate me,” he shook his head.

“It’s alright, Q.  That isn’t going to happen.”  M smiled at the old gent.  He had at least ten years on her in service, and had been a friend through the years.  “What else have you learned?”

“Nothing yet.  I’m still trying to learn where that call came from.”

“And Bond?”

“Is following the other kidnapper hoping he’ll lead him to the location where they’re holding Mrs. Hardcastle.”

“And what did he do with the one he caught?  I know he told him nothing.”

“Left him in the interrogation room.  He was gone when we went back the next day.”

“What did James do to him?”

“James had nothing to do with it.  And I’m afraid I can’t identify who was responsible for his disappearance.    They were dressed all in black and wearing a mask.”

M sighed, “Q, I’m afraid I know who this is.  I just don’t know the why.”

“Malfry?”  Q guessed.

“Yes, but I don’t understand why.  We all know that anyone within the intelligence world knows about Phantom.  Phantom is legend.  But, why would he want to know _who_ Phantom is?  Is he working for an enemy government?  No one has ever tried to discover who Phantom is, or who Phantom works for.  Everyone’s always just assumed the heads of each intelligence branch knows.  Only an enemy would want to know the identity.  And why would he go after me?  Why not the head of one of the other agencies?  Less chance of being found out so quickly.”

Q shrugged.  “I know Phantom is legend, and I know that no branch has ever claimed Phantom to keep the mystery; I don’t know the answer to your other queries.  I’m digging into Malfry’s background, but haven’t found anything yet.”

“Keep digging.”  M sighed and looked down at her hands.  “We have to find her, Q.  If I’m right, and it is Malfry,” she bit her lip.  “He knows that the tips of my fingers on my right hand have been burned.”

“And hers haven’t.”

“Exactly.  If he gets suspicious, all he has to do is look at her right hand, and it’s all over for her.”

Q stood up.  “I’d best be going.  I’ll do everything I can.”

“Then I know we’ll learn all we need.”  M smiled fondly at the older gentleman.  “You’ve always been my strongest ally, Q.”

“I’m not alone in that anymore.”

“What?”

Q shook his head.  “If you can’t see it, then I won’t be pointing it out.”

M frowned.  “If you’re talking of Bond, you’re mad.  Besides, I’m married.  Remember?”

“Oh, I remember, M.”  Q murmured as he put his hat on his head.  “I’ll get back with you when I’ve found something.”

M watched the man go, sighing as she squeezed the bridge of her nose.  It had to be Malfry doing this.  It made sense if she put things together from the moment she’d met the man and the way he’d always treated her.  But how had he gotten in?  How had he fooled them all?

“Damn and blast.”

“What’s that?”  Lionel asked as he came in, startling her.

“Oh.”

“Sorry.”  Lionel smiled slightly.  “I didn’t mean to startle you.  Who was that I passed coming in?”

“An associate.”

Lionel swallowed as he reached out, squeezing her arm.  “Jean?”

M softened as she patted his hand.  “I’m sorry.  He’s doing his best to find anything that will lead us to her.”

Closing his eyes, Lionel took a deep breath and let M go.  “Shall I fix dinner?  You look as though you could do with a bit of a rest.”

M felt her eyes water at the sadness in the man’s voice.  “I think I’ll take you up on the offer,” she whispered, keeping her eyes averted as she walked up the stairs to her room.  “Damn and blast,” she repeated her earlier curse.  “What a bloody mess!”

 

~*~

 

Jean cried out when she felt the burn of the electric current racing through her body again, singeing her skin.  She no longer had a voice to cry out again, so she sat, tears streaming down her cheeks, taking the torture silently as thoughts of Lionel filled her mind. 

By now he had to know that she’d been taken, that she had been mistaken for another woman.  He might even have met her.  Did he like her?  Was she really just the same?  God, she missed Lionel.  She wanted him to pull her close for a cuddle.  To have the smell of his cologne in her nose as she snuggled her face in his neck when he pulled her across his lap.  She wanted to feel his hands, strong and sure, as they caressed over her back, soothing her to sleep.

She just wanted Lionel.

She just wanted to be his happy little Pooh.

“No, no, M.  No shutting it out by getting lost in some mental trick.”

The hateful voice drug Jean out of her memory of she and Lionel’s trip to Paris.  Opening her eyes, she finally saw the face of the man who had been taunting her.  Blinking to clear her eyes, she stared at the man, memorizing his face.  “I’m not her,” she mouthed, her voice a barely there whisper.

“So you keep saying,” he growled grabbing her right hand.  His eyes widening when he didn’t find what he’d expected, he pulled back to look at Jean.  “You aren’t her.  That or you’ve managed to get rid of the scars on your fingertips in the two weeks since I saw you last.”

Jean blinked.  He believed her?  After all of the denials she’d screamed at them, touching her hand had been all that it took for him to realize she was the wrong woman?  The look in his eyes struck fear through her. 

Maybe his believing her wasn’t a good thing.

 

~*~

 

_“I know we’ve the wrong woman.  M, if you give yourself over, I’ll let whoever this woman is go.  Don’t and the woman dies.”_

Tanner looked at Moneypenny.  “Damn.”

“You can say that again.”  Moneypenny sighed.  “I’ve got to tell James.”

“You know where he is?”

“No, I don’t.  Don’t know where M is, either.  All I know is James’ mobile number.”

Tanner nodded and frowned.  “Who would do this?  And why?  Could it be someone from M’s double-o days?”

Moneypenny shook her head.  “Why would they wait all this time?”

Tanner shrugged.  “I don’t know.  You call James, I’ll call M.”

Moneypenny nodded.  “I suppose we should, but it’s going to upset her.  She’s feeling guilty over this whole mess.”

“I’m sure she is.  Any of us would.  An innocent woman is being tortured for information just because she looks like M.”  Tanner flinched at the thought.  “And the more the poor woman denies she’s M, the worse things get because they think it’s training.”

“Better get to it.  Are you sure you want to call M?  I can do it.”

“No.”  Tanner shook his head.  “It’s best if I do it.  But, if she has an email set up to use for this mess, forward that on to her.”

“She does, and I will.”  She sighed and shook her head.  “Don’t use your regular phone.  Or hers.  We’re using this number.”  Eve handed a small piece of paper to Bill.

“Thanks, Eve.”  Tanner took the paper and headed back to his office.  This was such a damned mess.  Walking to his office, he pulled out the phone he used in times like this.  Dialing the number Eve had given him, he swallowed before saying hello when M answered.  “Check your email.”  Was all he said before hanging up, not wanting to prolong the conversation just in case.

 

~*~

 

M read the email over at least three times as she contemplated what to do.  Taking a deep breath she clicked on reply and typed up her response.

_Send me coordinates and I’ll be there.  Don’t threaten me with coming alone, Malfry, I’m not new to the game.  I’ve been playing it longer than you.  I’ll be alone, no need to pull anyone else into your mess._

Hitting send, she closed her laptop as she stood up.  Time to inform Mr. Hardcastle that she’d be leaving and soon he’d have his wife back.

Lionel looked up when he heard M come into the den.  “What is it?” he asked, noticing the look on her face.  “Is it about Jean?”

“Yes, it’s about Mrs. Hardcastle.  I received an email from the person that’s caused all this mess.  You should have your wife back soon.”

Studying the woman in front of him, Lionel knew she wasn’t telling him everything.  She may not be his wife, but she was enough like Jean that he could tell when she was holding something back.  “What aren’t you telling me?”

M sighed.  This man could read her better than she liked, although it shouldn’t surprise her.  She’d heard him say she was like his wife enough times during these last few days.  “I’m to trade myself for her and he’ll release her.  I’m meeting him at the location he’s picked.”

“I’m going with you.”  Lionel told her, his gaze holding hers.

“Mr. Hardcastle, you can’t do that.  It’s much too dangerous.  I won’t be alone.”

“No you won’t.  I’ll be with you.”

“Mr. Hardcastle.”  M frowned at him.

“I’m going.  I don’t care that you won’t be alone, I’m not staying behind.  Jean doesn’t know you, and if what I suspect has happened to her has in deed happened, she’ll be frightened.  She’ll need me not strangers.”

M scowled at the man then softened.  “Fine then, but you mustn’t come with me.  Just follow and stay back.  I’ll leave my phone with you, and I promise once we find her, I’ll have my man contact you.”

“And what happens to you?”

M smiled at the concern in the man’s voice.  “I can take care of myself, Mr. Hardcastle.”

Lionel blinked at the steel that suddenly appeared in his companion’s voice.  This was a part of her that was definitely not like his Jean.  Jean could be fierce if push came to shove, but not like that.  Jean was a tender woman, this woman…this woman didn’t have a chance to be a tender woman.  “I have a question.”

“I can’t tell you anything about myself.”

“I’ve already decided what you are.  That wasn’t my question.  Although, I suppose my question does have something to do with it.”

“Well then?  What is it?”

“Jean’s hurt, I know that she is.  How am I to explain that to the girls?  The rest of the family and friends?”

M sighed, “Yes.  I won’t lie.  Your Jean has been hurt, and I’ve no idea how badly, though,” she looked down at her hands, the fingers of her left hand smoothing over the tips of her right.

Lionel felt his heart stutter in his chest.  “We’ll have to tell them, then,” he whispered.

“We’ll come to that when need be.”

 

~*~

 

James scowled.  No sign of M, damn the woman.  How could she do this?  She knew it was dangerous.  The man obviously couldn’t be trusted.  So why had she traded herself without giving him so much as a how do you do about it until she was already at the location?

“Stop pouting, double-o seven.”  Q scolded.  “M is very capable of taking care of herself.  Now get inside and do what you have to.  I’ll stay here and keep an eye on him.”  He pointed to Lionel who sat in his car, his eyes trained on where he’d seen M disappear inside the building across the road.

“Why is he here?”  James asked as he studied the man, surprised at how much he looked like Admiral Roebuck.

“M said he wouldn’t stay home.  He made the very valid point that his wife would be frightened with strangers after what she’s surely gone through.”

“Sounds like a smart man.”

“Sounds more like a man very much in love with his wife.”

“Hmm.”  James hummed before rushing off across the road.  He could see the cameras, but didn’t worry about them because Q was there and he knew the quartermaster well enough to know the cameras had been disabled in some fashion.  Taking out his Walther, he turned the knob on the door and said a silent prayer it didn’t squeak when he opened it.

Q watched James disappear inside.  He knew the man was angry at M for doing things this way, but he also knew why she’d done it.  He hadn’t been lying when he’d told James that M was quite capable of taking care of herself.

 

~*~

 

M made no sound as she stood watching Malfry, knowing who he truly was now thanks to Q.  She should have known he’d changed his name, should have realized she’d seen him somewhere in the past.

Although to be fair to herself, he’d been nothing more than a boy the last time she’d seen him.  Or rather, seen a picture of him.  It amazed her that the man was so calm, sitting and staring at his camera screens, watching what Q wanted him to see, waiting for her to show up.

Slipping the scarf from her shoulders, she walked silently up behind him, wrapping the silk around his neck.  “You wanted to know who Phantom is,” she breathed against his ear as he struggled.  Tightening the scarf, she slid her hand up, pressing her ring finger against his temple.

Malfry gasped when the scarf was released.  Blinking in surprise when M moved to stand in front of him, he tried to move but found his body felt like lead.

“Now you know my identity, but you’ll not be able to tell whoever it is you’re working for.  It’s a secret you’ll take to your grave.  Your superiors will get the message.”  M told him as she watched his eyes close, his breathing cease.  Feeling for a pulse, and finding none, she proceeded to pose him in the way she always had her victims.

Phantom had struck again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure I like the Bond/M stuff, but eh...I'll change it if I figure out what I don't like about it and how to fix it lol.

 

 

 

 

 

James kicked the man that fell at his feet, snarling when the man glared at him before gasping his last breath.  “I told you I’d do what I had to,” he mumbled.  He had been surprised to see the man facing him.  After having captured the man, he’d thought surely when he disappeared he’d turn up dead somewhere.

“I suppose now you have,” he told the man before stepping over him and cautiously making his way further into the building.  Shooting another man standing outside a closed door, James moved him out of the way before shooting the lock off the door.

Walking inside, he flipped the light on and closed his eyes at what he saw.  “Damn it,” he muttered as he hurried over to the woman tied to a chair.  He had to swallow down his emotions as he pulled out his pocket knife to cut her bonds.  These things didn’t affect him normally, but this woman looked exactly like M which made him think about how he’d feel if she truly _were_ M.

Which led to all kinds of thoughts he shouldn’t be having or dealing with in this moment.

Hearing a noise, he looked up, gun at the ready, then sighed and put the weapon away.  “M.”

“Bond.”  M whispered as she walked closer, taking off her trench coat as she moved.  “Dear god,” she breathed. 

“Where’s Malfry?”  James asked as he cut the rope around Jean’s left ankle.

“He’s back there.  Dead,” she answered.  “Let me finish this, Bond.  Call my mobile and tell her husband to come in here.”

“M?”

“She needs him, not us, James.”  M’s voice was quiet as she stared down at the woman, taking in every mark and bruise on her body.  “When you’re through, call for medical.”

James nodded, doing as he was told without questioning.  He knew that M was upset beyond what she was letting him see…she used his first name.

 

~*~

 

Lionel held Jean close as he carried her from the building wrapped carefully in M’s trench coat.  He’d whispered her name several times when he’d first walked into the room she was being held in, but she hadn’t responded.  He could feel a pulse, but he also knew it was very weak and that frightened him.

As he exited out into the bright sunlight, he held his precious burden a bit closer to shield her from prying eyes as best he could.  Looking at M, he tried not to blame her, tried not to wish it had been her someone was carrying out of the building in this state.

M held Lionel’s gaze.  “I wish it _had_ been me, Mr. Hardcastle.  I’m sorry it wasn’t,” she whispered as he passed by her.  “I promise they’ll take care of her.  She’ll have a private room in hospital and the best care,” she told him, her voice louder so that he could hear her.

Turning his attention to the people taking his wife from his arms, Lionel scowled at them when they weren’t as gentle as he thought they should be.  “Careful with her!” he growled.  Getting sympathetic nods, he watched them gentle their movements.  Seeing Jean jerk and begin to thrash about when they tried to put in an i.v., he moved to her and took her free hand.  “Easy.  Easy,” he whispered as he caressed her hair.  “You’re safe now, Pooh,” he breathed against her ear so only she could hear.

M watched the scene, smiling sadly at how easily the man calmed his wife with just his quiet words and gentle touch.  Even in Mrs. Hardcastle’s semi-unconscious state, she knew her husband’s voice and touch.

“M.”  James’ rich voice sounded from behind her as he reached out a hand and rested it on her shoulder.  “Come on.  Let’s get you out of here.”

M nodded numbly and let James lead her away to the waiting car.  Helping her in, he walked around to the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel.  M could feel James’ gaze and turned to look at him.  “I’m fine, James.  Just take me back to headquarters.  We’ve a report to file.”

“This isn’t your fault.”  James told her as they pulled out into traffic.

“Leave it be, Bond.”  M commanded as she stared out the window at the passing scenery.

“I saw the way he looked at you, M.  The man was wishing it had been you.”

“Of course he was, Bond!  He’d just found his wife bleeding and battered from being tortured.  And why?  Because she looked like the bloody head of MI6.  Any man that loves his wife would have thought the same.”  Turning to glare at her companion, M hissed, “Now do as I said and leave it be.”

“Damn it, M!”  James growled.  “How am I supposed to leave it be when the woman,” he shook his head.  “Fine.”

M blinked in surprise at James’ sudden outburst and its abrupt halt.  Q had tried to tell her something about James’ feelings for her, but she’d cut him off.  Told him she was married and that was final.  Of course, Q being Q, knew exactly what her marriage was, but James didn’t.  Q only knew because, well…he was Q.  And the man seemed to know everything about her.

 

~*~

 

“I don’t understand, Lionel.”  Judy looked at her step-father, her voice shaking, lip trembling.

“I don’t either.”  Sandy whispered, her own lip trembling, eyes filled with tears.

Pulling both girls into his arms, Lionel looked up at his father and blinked against the sting of tears.  “The woman I was in the country with, wasn’t Jean.  She was the woman that Jean was mistaken for.  She’s well, she’s someone whose job prevented her from telling me her name.”

Rocky blinked at that.  “My word,” he breathed.

“We went to the country to keep her from having to try and fool you girls and Alistair because she knew she couldn’t do it.”

“Did she try to fool you?  Is that when she decided to go to the country away from us?”  Sandy asked, her mind still trying to process what Lionel had told them, or rather…hadn’t told them.

“No, Sandy.  She told me the truth the moment I opened the front door to her.  I thought she was Jean and that you girls and Alistair had put her up to a joke of some sort, but then I looked into her eyes.”

“And Mum’s love wasn’t there.”  Judy whispered on a sob as she buried her face in Lionel’s neck.

“That’s right.”  Lionel whispered as he held her close.  “And that’s what would have given her away to you girls.”

Sandy sobbed against Lionel’s chest.  “Is she going to be alright?”

Again Lionel looked up at his father.  “I don’t know.”

Rocky started to say something then turned when he heard noise behind them.  “Madge.”

Alistair blinked at the scene that greeted him as he entered behind Madge.  “What’s happened?”

Judy pulled away from Lionel and went to Alistair, wrapping her arms tightly around him.  “It’s Mum.  She’s been,” her voice broke and she couldn’t go on.

Alistair looked up at Lionel.  “Li?”

“It’s a very long story, Alistair.”  Lionel sighed as he gently rocked Sandy.  “Here, go to Rocky,” he told her as he gently handed her over to his father.  “Help him and Judy tell Alistair and Madge what’s happened.  Okay?”

Sandy nodded.  “Okay.  Where are you going?”

“I’m going to go check on Jean.”

Madge watched her step-son walk from the room then turned her attention to Rocky.  “Rocky?  What’s happened to Jean?  I thought they were at the house in the country to spend some time alone before their anniversary party.”

Rocky patted Sandy’s back.  “No.  Lionel wasn’t with Jean.”  His voice dropped.  “He was with a woman that looks like Jean.”

Alistair sensed there was more to this.  “Judy?  What does he mean?”

“I’m not sure I understand it very well.  Lionel said the woman couldn’t tell him her name.”

Alistair blinked in surprise and looked up at Rocky.  “Spy?” he mouthed.

Rocky shrugged.  “Seems so.”

“Oh my.”  Madge whispered.  “And our Jean looks like this woman?”

“Exactly like her from what Lionel said.” Sandy spoke up, half smiling at Rocky when he handed her a handkerchief.

“Except her eyes.”  Judy whispered.

“Except her eyes.”  Sandy nodded.

“Apparently Jean was taken mistakenly by people who thought they had the other woman.”  Rocky looked down at Sandy then back up at Alistair.  “Use your imagination to figure out the rest, young man.”

Alistair stared down at Judy, understanding now what she hadn’t said.  “Oh Judy,” he breathed as he pulled her close and held tightly.

“They don’t know if she’s going to be okay.”  Judy whispered.  “Lionel,” her voice cracked.  “Lionel won’t know what to do without Mum.  He’ll be lost again.”

 

~*~

 

“Bond!  What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?”  M shouted as James slammed the door then stalked across the room and pushed the button on her desk that locked her office down, sound proofing it and making it completely secure.

Glaring at the woman, James narrowed his eyes as he moved toward her, the look on his face the fierce look he wore when he was on the job.  Seeing M back up against the wall, he felt a bit of satisfaction at having unnerved her just the slightest bit.  “I’m going to keep you locked up in here until you stop blaming yourself.”

M reached up to slap James when he got just a little too close, but his hand grabbed hers and pushed it up against the wall she’d pinned herself to.  _Stupid move_ , she thought to herself.   “Let me go, Bond,” she hissed as he grabbed her other hand and held it to the wall as well.

“No.  Not until you stop arguing with me.  All the way here you shut me down every time I tried to talk to you about this.”

“I didn’t want to argue.”  M struggled against his hold.

Shaking his head and giving in to his wants, James pressed his body against hers and captured her lips in a heated kiss.  He could feel her nails digging into the skin of his hands, but continued with the kiss.

M struggled against the kiss after the shock of it wore off.  “James!” she hissed.  “Let me go!”

James’ eyes widened.  She never used his first name, yet she’d used it twice in the last hour.  The use of his first name meant he’d gotten to her.  “You called me James.”

“No, I most certainly did not!”  M denied even though she knew that she had.  Her body was still tingling from his kiss.  “Let me go.”

“No.  Not until you tell me the truth.”

“I’ve told you the truth.”

“You haven’t.  Are you married or aren’t you?”

“I am, damn it.  I’ve told you that time and again.”

James pushed his body tighter against hers.  “When I reminded Q that you were married he replied with, “Is she?  You’d be surprised.”  What did he mean?”

M sighed, “Damn and blast the old man anyway.”

“What did he mean?”  James asked again, his hands tightening on hers.

“I am married.”  M told him.  “But only legally.”

Easing his hold, James frowned.  “Only legally?  Why?”

“I’m a spy by trade, Bond.  You figure it out.”

“You’re the bloody head of MI6.  What do you need with a cover story?”

“I wasn’t always the _bloody head of MI6_.  And I do occasionally still do a bit of work outside of being your boss.”

James raised an eyebrow at that.  “So your husband is just a cover?”

“And I’m his.”

“He’s MI6?”

M shook her head.  “No.  MI5.”

Narrowing his eyes, James let go of one of her hands and trailed his free hand up over her ribs, brushing against her breast in the process.  Feeling her react, he smiled knowingly at her.  “He doesn’t touch you does he?  Doesn’t make love to you.  I doubt if he even sleeps in your bed.  He probably has lovers all over the city.”

M ground her teeth.  “James,” she used his name again.  “Let me go.”

James heard it again, that emptiness, the blame.  Giving in, he stepped back.  “I can give you what you need if you’ll let me.”

“And what do you think I need?”

“You need someone to show you that you’re still a very desirable woman.  You need someone to show you that they care about you the same way Mr. Hardcastle cares about his wife.”

M blinked in surprise.  “If this is some sort of misguided attempt to make me stop blaming myself for what’s happened, I don’t appreciate you toying with me.”

James blinked in surprise.  “I’m not toying with you.”

M rolled her eyes.  “You expect me to believe you’re attracted to a woman like me?  Do give me some credit,” she huffed.

Scowling at her, James pinned her against the wall again.  “Can you deny what you feel pressed against you?”

“No.  I can not, but I also know you.  It isn’t me that’s caused your situation, it’s the thrill of the game you play.”

“I’m not playing a game, M.”  James whispered as he bent his head and kissed her again.  Slow and gentle this time, showing her what he felt.  Pulling back, he stared down at her.  “When I saw Mrs. Hardcastle and what they’d done to her,” he swallowed and looked away.  “She looks so much like you all I could see was you.  If Malfry hadn’t already been dead,” he paused and looked back at her.  “I’d have done to him what he did to that poor woman.  All I could think of was how glad I was that it wasn’t you.”

“James.”  M breathed.

“I know.  It’s horrid, and I’m a horrible man for thinking it, but,” James lifted his hand to caress her face.  “I saw the look Mr. Hardcastle gave you.  He was thinking the same.”

M felt herself trembling as she studied the blue eyes staring down at her.  She saw something in those eyes she’d never seen before and it made her breath catch.  “You’re so young, James.”

“Not so young,” he mumbled as he bent to press feather soft kisses over her face.  “There aren’t that many years between you and I, M.”

M shook her head at him.  “James, this is insanity.”

“But a good insanity,” he breathed before nipping at her ear.

Knowing she should push him away, M gave in – her need to feel overruling her rationale.  Gripping his arms, she looked up at him.  “Don’t hurt me, James.”

“Never, M.”  James whispered sincerely.  “Come home with me?”

M felt herself nodding.  Taking his hand, she followed him over to her desk.  Raising an eyebrow when he handed her the phone, she sighed at the gentle smile that turned up the corners of his mouth.

“Call Moneypenny and tell her you’re leaving for the day and tell her that you don’t need your driver or guard.  Tell her I’m taking over for now.”

“But James,” she started stopping when he placed his finger against her lips.

“It’s alright.”

Something in the way he was looking at her told M that Moneypenny probably already knew about his feelings for their boss.  “Alright,” she gave in.

James hit the button to shut off the security features of the office and smiled when M hung up.  “Come on then.”

M took his outstretched hand and sighed, “James?”

“I know.  And yes, we will.”

“How did you know what I was going to ask?”

“Because I know you, M.  You aren’t going to be able to relax until you know how she’s doing.”

“I just want to call, I think.”

“That’s probably best.  Seeing you might upset everyone that hasn’t seen you before.”

“Very diplomatic of you, James.”  M smiled at the way his eyes light up with the use of his name.  “My presence would upset Mr. Hardcastle.”

“Come on then.  Use my mobile to call while we go down to the car park.”

“I can use my own.”

James shook his head.  “We still don’t know who Malfry was working with.  You’re not really safe yet.  Besides the mobile I have is the one we’ve been using so it can’t be traced.”

“Mine like that is still with Mr. Hardcastle.”  M reminded them both as she let go of his hand.  “No need to start gossip about.”

James caressed her cheek before he opened the door.  “We’ll be ask secretive as we need to be.”

“He won’t care, James.”  M whispered before they walked out of the office.  She knew James wasn’t a man to sleep with a married woman if the marriage was good.  The married women he’d slept with on the job were married to men who were involved in crimes against the Crown and were merely trophy wives, nothing more.  If her marriage had been more than it was, his feelings would have been kept to himself.

But knowing his reputation with women, could she really trust him not to hurt her?  Looking up at him when he handed her his mobile, she studied his eyes.  Those blue eyes held hers, letting her see everything.  It had been a long time since a man looked at her like that.  She still found it hard to believe he wanted her.  She supposed she’d find out the truth once they reached his flat.


	6. Chapter 6

Lionel caressed Jean’s forehead, tears on his cheeks as he remembered what her beautiful face looked like under the bandages.  He wondered how she would be when she woke up, if she woke up, something the doctors still couldn’t assure him would happen.  If she did wake up, they couldn’t tell him what state of mind she’d be in. 

The things that had been done to her made him shiver with pain and anger.  He’d never been an overly violent man, but if he could have gotten his hands on the man, or men, that did this to his wife…he believed his anger would give him the strength to tear them limb from limb.

“Why don’t you take a break, my boy?”  Rocky whispered as he squeezed Lionel’s shoulder.

Looking up at his father, Lionel shook his head.  “I have to be here if she wakes up.  She’ll be frightened if I’m not.”

“We’ll be here, Lionel.”  Madge smiled gently at him.  “She won’t like it if we let you get sick.”

“She’ll have our heads, my boy.”  Rocky chimed in.

“Alistair is still in the waiting room with the girls, if something happens, we’ll have him call.  I promise.”   Madge patted Lionel’s cheek, wiping at his tears.  “Go on now.  Go home and rest.”

“You won’t leave her alone?  Promise you won’t let one of the girls be here by themselves.  I don’t want them upset anymore than they are.”

Madge smiled and nodded.  “Rocky and I will stay until you come back.  One or both of us will be here in the room at all times.”

“Promise, my boy.”

Lionel nodded then stood up and bent over to press a soft kiss to Jean’s lips.  “I’ll be back soon.  I promise, Pooh,” he whispered.

Madge felt her heart break as she watched Lionel.  He wasn’t often a man who was openly emotional, but in the years since Jean had come back into his life,  he’d began to open up.   Judy head been right when she said Lionel would be lost again.  He was already a bit lost.

Lionel stood up and looked at Madge.   “Look after Alistair,  would you?”

“I will, don’t you worry.”

Lionel nodded, turning to his father when he felt his hand on his arm.  “I,” he started then looked away.

“I know, my boy.”  Richard whispered, understanding what his son hadn’t said.  He’d felt much the same way as he watched Lionel’s mother lying so helpless before she’d left them.

“I’d best go.  I won’t be gone long.”

“You need to stay away for at least four hours so that you can get some rest.”  Madge told him, smiling gently when he scowled at her.  “Promise.  You need it and you need to eat.”

Lionel sighed and gave in.  “I don’t like it, but she wouldn’t like me not taking a break, so I’ll do it for her.”

“There’s a good lad.”  Madge winked at him, chuckling slightly when he frowned at her.  “You are a lad to Rocky and I.”

“So you keep telling me.”

Rocky watched his son leave the room then looked at his wife.  “I’m worried about him.”

Madge took Rocky’s hand in hers.  “He’ll be fine as soon as she wakes up.”

“But will she?”

 

~*~

 

M leaned back when she felt James’ arms go around her waist from behind.  “They don’t know if she’s going to be okay,” she murmured.

“From what Q told us, the footage on the CCTV recordings show that she has just as much steely determination as you.  She’ll survive this.”

“But,” M started then looked down at her right hand.  “What if she doesn’t want to?”

“M?”  James whispered as he held her a little closer.

Holding up her hand, M titled it so that James could see the scars.  “ _I_ didn’t want to,” she whispered.

James reached out and touched the scars on M’s fingertips.  “What did they do to you?”

“Anything you can think of.  These are from the barrel of a gun that they held over an open flame before they wrapped my fingers around it.”

Lifting her hand to his mouth, he placed soft kisses to each scarred fingertip.  “What made you change your mind about surviving?” he whispered as he let her hand go and wrapped his arm back around her.

“My husband.”

“I thought you didn’t love him?”

M shook her head.  “My first husband.  Only he wasn’t my husband then.”  She smiled as she thought back.  “He was an agent for another government.”

James raised an eyebrow at that.  “Oh?”

Nodding, she continued, “He was working undercover just as I had been.  We’d interacted some, but not much because he knew that I would realize he was doing the same thing I was.  When he found out that they had learned I was a spy, he did his best to find out where they were holding me.  By the time Thomas found me,” M stopped and took a deep breath.  “He carried me out of there much like Mr. Hardcastle carried Mrs. Hardcastle.  Thomas’ mission had to be taken over by another agent, and his superiors weren’t very happy with him, but he didn’t care.  He came to see me every day, even though he’d been ordered back to his own country.”  M looked over her shoulder at James.  “Seems I have a way of attracting rogues.”

James smiled at her and kissed her cheek.  “Go on.”

“I was giving up.  I’d failed my mission, and the things they’d done to me,” she shook her head.  “I had no reason to go on.  Thomas came the day they lost me and had to bring me back.  When he was able to come in and see me, he yelled at me.  The words he said, the feel of his hand squeezing my good hand, somehow got through to me.  When I woke up a week later, his green eyes were the first thing I saw.”

“Did MI6 sanction your marriage?”

M chuckled and shook her head.  “No need for them to as I was no longer a field agent.  There’s a reason why I gained the name, _Evil Queen of Numbers_.”

“But you’re not, and Tanner was wrong to say that.  He knows that now.”

“Yes, he does.  He’s become a very good friend since that day.”

“What did Thomas’ superiors say about your marriage?”

“They didn’t care as it gave him good cause to be here.”

“So you were in essence his cover.”

“For them, yes, but Thomas never thought of me that way.”  Turning in James’ embrace, M looked up at him.  “We loved each other very much, James.  I was devastated when he was killed on a mission in China.  I carried on because of the things Thomas had taught me about strength, and because of our two children.  Both of them were very angry at me for keeping the secret of their father’s true occupation, and demanded to know if that’s what I was too.  Of course I hadn’t been for years, so I didn’t have to lie, but they never really believed me.  They both shut me out after their father’s death, and once they were old enough they left home and I don’t hear from them often.  When I do, I am on the receiving end of conversations laced with sarcasm.”

“I’m sorry, M.”  James pressed a kiss to her temple.  “How did you wind up married to your current husband?”

“Sergei?”  M shrugged.  “He’s four years younger than I am, and he needed a teacher.  My children were gone, so I didn’t see a reason not to do as I’d been asked.  Although marrying him was something I fought with M about.  He insisted that we had to marry because living with someone back then wasn’t as readily accepted as it is today.  I argued with him for several weeks over it, but he finally won out.  It hasn’t all been bad, really.  He’s a nice enough man.”

“But he isn’t your Thomas.”

“No, he isn’t my Thomas.  And my children never understood the marriage.  It angered them, though they didn’t need much cause to be angry with me.”

Caressing her face, James shook his head in amazement.  “I’ve always known you were some kind of woman, but I never realized just how amazing you are.”

M closed her eyes, let herself revel in the touch of his fingers as they traced over her face.  “Learning my wrinkles, Bond?”

James rolled his eyes.  “No.  Memorizing the beauty.”

M opened her eyes and looked up at him.  “James, please.  My beauty went the way of the dinosaur.”

“Let me show you how wrong you are.  That _is_ why I brought you to my home.”

“It is.  Just promise me,” she whispered.

“What?  I’ll promise anything.”

“No lights.  I,” she swallowed and looked away.  “I couldn’t bear to see the revulsion in your eyes.”

James blinked in surprise at her request.  Could she really think so little of him?  Then he scolded himself, of course she could.  This woman knew how good he was at playing the part to seduce a woman into his bed.  “Alright,” he gave in quietly.  “but not because you’re right.”  Kissing her tenderly, he held her gaze.  “I’ll prove to you that you’re different.  I’m not just playing the game.”

 

~*~

 

Madge shook her head when Lionel walked through the door of Jean’s hospital room.  She should have known the man wouldn’t stay away more than a couple of hours.  Although, looking across the room at Rocky who was sitting by Jean’s bedside reading to her from Lionel’s favorite childhood book, she knew that she would be just like Lionel.

“Where did he find that?”  Lionel asked as he stood listening to his father.

“It was in a box in the attic.  Mrs. Bale brought it by.”

“Whatever for?”  Lionel wondered.

“Maybe she thought it would be something light to read to ease the tensions.”  Madge smiled up at her step-son.  “She cares for you and Jean, you know.  A great deal more than she lets on.”

Lionel nodded.  “I know.  So does Jean.”  Patting Madge’s hand when she squeezed his arm, he sighed, “Thank you for staying.  How are the girls and Alistair?”

“Alistair took the girls to his place for something to eat and a bit of rest.”

“I’m glad.  You and Dad should go home.  I’ll be fine here.  I’m sure the kids will come back.”

“We’ll go and get something to eat, but we’re not going home.  We’re going to stay at the hotel that’s just a few minutes from here.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“We know that, Lionel, but we’re your parents, that’s what we’re supposed to do.”  Madge smiled at him when he looked at her with a startled expression.  “I don’t have children of my own, Lionel, you know that, but I’ve always considered you my son, even if I’ve never said as much.”

“Thank you,” he whispered then moved around the bed to where his father was.

Rocky looked up when he felt Lionel’s hand on his shoulder.  “Was just getting to the good part, my boy.”

“I heard.  I’ll take over now, Dad.  You and Madge need to go get some rest.  I’ll be alright.”

Rocky stood up and looked to Madge who nodded.  “Alright, my boy.  Call if you need anything.”

“I will, Dad, and thanks.”  Lionel squeezed Rocky’s arm. 

Rocky handed Lionel the book.  “Here, maybe you reading to her will wake her up.”

Lionel looked down at the worn book then back up at his father.  “I brought my own book, but it’s not very long, so I’ll read this when the other is finished.”

Rocky nodded.  “Alright.”

Lionel watched Rocky and Madge leave then settled into the chair his father had been sitting in.  “They love you,” he whispered as he reached out to caress her hand before settling more comfortably in the chair.  Opening the book he brought, his swallowed back the emotion as memories of the first time he’d read this book flooded his mind.

“*Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin.  It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels that there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it.  And then he feels that perhaps there isn’t.  Anyhow, here he is at the bottom, and ready to be introduced to you.  Winnie-the-Pooh.”  Lionel read the first paragraph of the book, then paused to reach out and caress Jean’s hand again.  “We’d have read this to our child at night.  Though I think it would have been you who had to do the reading.  I’d have scared the wee thing.”  He stopped when he felt her fingers gently squeeze his.

“Wouldn’t scare,” she whispered, her voice barely there.

“Pooh.”  Lionel breathed as he stood up, dropping the book to the floor as he leaned over her.  Smiling at her when her eyes fluttered open, he pressed a kiss to her forehead.  “Thank you,” he whispered.

Jean felt tears fill her eyes at the feel of the warm wet drop that landed on her forehead.  “Love,” she managed before licking her dry lips.

Lionel pulled back and stared down at her as he pushed the call button on the side of her bed.  Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his chap stick, gently rubbing some on her lips.  Looking up when the door opened, he smiled at the nurse that stepped inside.  “She’s awake.”

The nurse smiled and nodded.  “I see that.  I’ll go page her doctor then I’ll bring in some ice chips.  I’m sure her throat is dry.”

“Thank you.”  Lionel told the young woman then turned his attention back to Jean.  “When the doctor comes, I’ll go out and call Dad and Madge.  They can call the kids.”  Seeing her tears, he gently caught them before they rolled down into her bandages.  Leaning close, he gently rubbed his nose against hers.  “It’ll be alright, Jean.  You’re safe now.”

 

~*~

 

M shivered in the dark as James’ hands moved over her.  She couldn’t help thinking about how his hands were lethal weapons, yet as they caressed her they were gentle, not a sign of malice.  Her breath caught when he cupped a breast and gently tweaked a taut nipple.  It had been so many years since a man had touched her like this, that she’d feared her body had forgotten how to respond.

Her fears had been unfounded.

Her body remembered and reveled in the sensations it had long been deprived of.

“M,” his voice broke through her thoughts.

“Yes, James,” she answered softly.

“Why didn’t you take a lover?  Why did you punish yourself?”

“There is so much you don’t know about me, James.  So much.  After Thomas,” she sighed and shook her head.  “After what happened to me, Thomas was the only man that ever saw me, and that took years to happen.  He made me feel safe and then slowly helped me overcome the fears until I enjoyed being with a man again.”

“In the dark,” he whispered.

“In the dark for now.”

James found her face with his hands, his thumb tracing her lips.  “Does that mean we have a chance for this to be more than a one time thing?”

“I don’t know what it means, James.  Just please for now, don’t ask questions I can’t give you an answer to.”

“Alright,” he whispered as he went back to caressing her.  His hand sliding down over her ribs, his thumb tracing around her navel, smiling when her breath caught and held as he moved lower.  Tenderly tapping her thighs to get her to move them further apart, he moved lower, cupping her and moving his hand up and down over the warm flesh of her center.  Feeling her pulse jump under his lips, he licked the spot on her neck before moving up to her ear.  “How long has it been since you touched yourself?”

“Too long,” she murmured, her legs moving further apart to encourage his touch.  “Please, James.  Don’t tease.”

“Teasing will come later,” he murmured.

M let her eyes slide shut as his fingers worked magic on her lower body.  In and out, swirling around then in and out and back in, curling and uncurling.  Lifting her hand, she caressed up his back, tangling her fingers in his hair as she moved his head so that his mouth was on hers. 

James continued his movements as M deepened their kiss.  He could feel her start to tremble, her inner muscles clutching at his thrusting fingers, and knew by the timbre of her moan that she was close.  Pressing his thumb in just the right spot, he smiled as she came unglued.

“James,” she whimpered as her back arched, her body convulsing as her climax flooded her senses.

Holding her close and gently kissing her face and neck, James lay quietly waiting for her to recover.  Her hand had gone limp and fell back to the bed, and he missed the contact.  Nuzzling her, he laughed when she moaned.

“If that is what just your hands can do,” she whimpered and shook her head causing James to laugh again.

“My mouth is next,” he whispered, his hot breath against her ear making her shiver.

“Give an old woman time to recover.”  M told him.

“You’re not old.”  James scolded as he nipped at her, his mouth following the path his hand had earlier.  Suckling on a taut nipple, he rolled the sensitized flesh against the roof of his mouth before gently nipping then soothing with his tongue.

M felt hot and cold and crazy and…so many different things at the same time, she was sure James was going to short circuit her nervous system.  Swallowing back a cry when his tongue dipped into her navel, she braced herself for what was coming next.  Gripping the sheets beneath her, she gasped and then moaned, “Oh god,” when his mouth covered her, his hands cupping her buttocks, holding her closer to him.

James moaned at the first taste of her.  She was his favorite whiskey, a martini shaken, not stirred, and his favorite dessert all rolled into one.  Savoring the chance to pleasure her, he took his time, learning what made her moan, what made her whimper, what made her breath hitch.

M felt her head spinning, her blood pumping wildly through her veins as James’ mouth worked her the way his hands had only a few minutes before.  She couldn’t seem to form a coherent thought, and her ability to speak seemed to have fled her.  All she could do was moan and whimper and toss her head about as she ground against James’ wicked tongue.

Stepping up his efforts, James went in for the delicious kill.  Hearing her cry out his name, he continued as she came down, placing a soft kiss to her thigh before laying her back against the bed and moving up to lay beside her, holding her close.  “Just rest now, M,” he whispered.

“But James,” she finally managed.  She could feel him, hard and ready, against her leg, and knew he must be in a bit of pain.

“Shh,” he hushed her.  “I’m fine.  This is about you.  Rest.”

Giving in because she was so very tired all of the sudden, she settled against her pillows reaching for James’ hand and pulling his arm around her.  “So you don’t disappear,” she murmured sleepily.

Pressing a kiss to her temple, James whispered, “I’m not going anywhere,” before moving closer to her, holding her body tighter against his as he settled down to sleep.  When they woke from their nap, he’d make love to her properly…maybe then she’d believe that she was different than all the other women.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Is the first paragraph from _Winnie-the-Pooh_ by A. A. Milne.


	7. Chapter 7

Jean screamed out, her head tossing about as she tried to escape her attacker.  “I’m not her!  I’m not her!  My name is Jean!”

Lionel jerked awake at the husky scream.  He hurried to her side and gently pressed against her shoulders to keep her from hurting herself.  “Jean.  It’s Lionel.  Wake up.  You’re alright.  You’re safe.”

Jean’s eyes flew open and she stared up at Lionel, tears rolling down her cheeks.  “Lionel,” she barely croaked, her throat feeling like it was on fire from the screaming.

“Shh,” he soothed.  “Let me get you some ice chips.  They’ll make your throat feel better.”

Clasping his hand as best she could, Jean pleaded with him with her eyes.  “No,” she mouthed.

“I won’t be gone long.”

“No,” she mouthed again.  “Don’t leave me alone.”

“Alright, I promise.  I’m not going anywhere.  I’ll just push the call button and ask a nurse.”  Lionel assured her as he gently patted her hand.  “I won’t leave you.”

Closing her eyes, tears running down her cheeks, Jean mouthed, “Okay,” before settling down once more.

Lionel looked up when the door opened.  “I’m sorry, but she won’t let me leave her.  Can you bring some ice chips?”

The young nurse smiled and nodded.  “Don’t apologize, Mr. Hardcastle.  I’ll be right back.”

Turning his attention back to his wife, Lionel caressed the hair from her forehead.  “I’m so sorry, Pooh,” he whispered.

Not opening her eyes, Jean turned into Lionel’s touch.  “Read,” she mouthed.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Lionel whispered, “Whatever you want.”

 

~*~

 

M woke from her nap with a moan.  James’ hands and mouth were busy again.  “James,” she breathed when his teeth bit gently at her breast.

“I want you to remember,” he whispered before soothing the spot with his tongue.  “When you see yourself in the mirror and see my mark, I want you to think of this,” he told her just as he slowly pushed inside her, inch by inch, pausing to let her adjust before moving forward.

“Oh god.”  M gripped his arms as she arched up into him.  “James!”

“Easy, M.”  James whispered as he kissed her ear then neck.

Looking up at the man over her, M could barely make out his face in the light of the moon peeking in through the blinds, but what she could see was the intense concentration.  “Don’t hold back anymore, James.”

“I have to prove to you that,” he started, stopping when her fingers covered his lips.

“Shh.”  M hushed him.  “I know.”  She smiled at him as she shifted her legs up and over his thighs.  “Make love to me now, James.  And James,”

“Yes?”  James asked as he nuzzled her neck.

“My name is Martha.”

James pulled back and looked down at her, a smile crossing his lips.  “Marti.”

M blinked at him and shook her head a bit.  “No one’s called me that since Thomas.”

“Then I won’t.”

“No,” she told him, caressing his face.  “I like it.”

James nodded and slowly began to move against her.  “You’re wonderful, Marti,” he whispered as his thumb caressed over her brow.

Smiling at the sound of her name spoken so softly and reverently, M cupped his face and pulled him down to her, catching him in a kiss.  Pressing against his lips with her tongue, she mimicked the movements of his body, making him moan as he quickened the pace.

“Marti,” he panted as he pulled from the kiss, his forehead resting on her shoulder.

“Let go,” she whispered.

“But,” he started to argue, not wanting to leave her behind.

“You know how to fix that,” she reminded him.

James groaned as he slid a hand down between them, touching her where they were joined.  His thumb found its target, and he felt her clench around him as he continued to thrust.

M gripped his head, her fingers tangled in his hair, as her hips began to move restlessly against him.  “James,” her breath hitched.  “James,” she repeated his name as she plummeted over the edge.

Feeling her orgasm sweep over her, her body clutching wildly at his, James let himself go completely and gave into his body’s demand for climax.  Burying his face against her neck, he moaned her name before collapsing against her.

M wrapped her arms around James and caressed his back as she tenderly kissed his head then temple.  When she felt him start to move, she held him a bit tighter.  “Shh, just rest a bit.  I’ll let you know when you’ve grown too heavy.”

Giving in, James settled against her, his lips pressing soft kisses to her collar bone and neck.  “Marti?”

“Mmm?”  M asked, her eyes closed enjoying the feel of him pressing her into the mattress.

“How did you know?  You didn’t earlier.”

M smiled at his question, not surprised that he’d asked it.  “I knew because of the care you took to ignore your own needs and see to me being completely satisfied.  And because you were still here.”

“I promised not to go anywhere,” he whispered.

Gently tapping at his shoulder, M smiled as he moved off her so that only part of his body covered hers, his head still resting on her shoulder.  “I rather like this.”

“What?”

“You lying against me, your head on my shoulder.”

“I rather like it myself.”  Kissing her breast, James felt her chuckle.

“Typical male,” she mused.  She could feel his lips turn up into a smile as he wrapped his arm across her stomach, his hand gently caressing her waist.

“They’re hard to ignore,” he murmured, his hand drifting up to caress the object of their discussion.  Wiggling down a bit, he snuggled closer, his head resting on her breast.  “Best pillow there is.”

“Oh brother.”  M sighed with a roll of her eyes.  “I’m glad you find them so wonderful.”

“They’re perfect.”

“Oh, now they’re far from that.”  M scoffed.

“Don’t throw up all the young girls I’ve been with.  Most of them are fake.”  James caressed the other breast, smiling when the nipple responded to the stimulation.

“And mine being real and sagging make them perfect?” she asked.

“Marti,” he growled.  “Stop that.  I like them.  Full stop.”

“Fine then.”

“Next up, lights.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Damn it, yes.”  James hissed.  “You have to know now that you wouldn’t see revulsion in my eyes.  I want to see the look on your face when I’m touching you.  I felt your pleasure, but I want to see it.  I want to see if your eyes go dark with passion.”

M took a deep breath.  “I promise to try.  It’s all I can give you.”

Nuzzling her neck, James sighed, “Fair enough.”

M started when James’ mobile rang.  “I hope nothing’s happened.”

James was thankful for the bit of light coming from his mobile so that he could find the black object in the dark of the room.  “Hello?” he answered warily.  “I will.  Thank you for calling.”

M frowned.  “Who was that?” she asked when James settled back against her.

“Mr. Hardcastle.  He said to tell you that Mrs. Hardcastle woke up.”

“Anything else?”

“No.  That was all.  The man is still very angry.”

“With reason.”

“Marti.”  James warned.

“I’m sorry, James, but the man has every right to be livid.  He may have said she was awake, but what he didn’t say was that she’s had a nightmare.  That’s she’s cried out, a raw, strangled cry, fighting off her tormentor.  She has no voice to talk because she screamed until her throat bled, and her voice was gone.”

Moving closer, James held M tighter, his lips pressing gentle kisses to her chest as his hand tenderly caressed her hip.  “Shh.  No more.  No more.  I can’t bear it.”

Pressing a kiss to his head, M combed her fingers gently through his hair.  “It’s alright, James.  I’ve lived through and I’m here.”

 

~*~

 

Alistair sat staring at the fireplace, Judy asleep on one shoulder, Sandy on the other.  Normally he would be near foaming at the mouth in such a situation, but not this time.  This time his heart was hurting.  Jean was the most generous, lovely woman he’d ever met, and he still harbored feelings for her, though he wasn’t sure exactly what they were.  And she had been hurt to the point where her doctors didn’t even know if she’d wake up or not.

Both Judy and Sandy had cried themselves to sleep, and he’d not been able to do anything but wrap his arms around them and pull them close.  He wasn’t used to be helpless.  Never before had he been in a situation where he couldn’t do something to fix it.

A tear escaped and rolled down his cheek as he thought about the bandages that covered Jean’s face.  Her beautiful face…beauty that was marred now.  She would be no less beautiful than she always had been to Lionel, he knew that.  Nor to him.  He knew that too.  But he also knew that those scars would be constant reminders of what she’d gone through and would make it hard for his favorite two people to get over what had happened.

He nodded.  Finally something he could do.  He knew the best in the biz when it came to cosmetic surgery.  When he got the chance, he’d call him up and get him to come and take care of Jean.

“Bloody SIS can pay for it,” he mumbled, patting the girls’ backs when the stirred slightly.  His mobile ringing disturbed them and they sat up with wide eyes.

“Answer it.”  Judy insisted.

Alistair patted her hand as he answered, smiling at the news.  “I’ll tell them.  They’ll fight me on it, but I’ll tell them.”

Sandy looked at Judy with a frown.  “What would we fight with him about?” she wondered quietly.

“About going home to rest.”  Alistair answered her with a smile.  “Jean woke up.”

Judy burst into tears and reached across Alistair to clasp Sandy’s hands.  “She’s going to be okay.”

“Yes.”  Sandy whispered around her sniffs.

“She’s going to be fine, but Lionel said she’s sleeping now.  He wants you to go home and do the same.”

“But I want to see Mum.”

“I know you do, but do you want her to see how tired you are?  She’ll only worry.”

Sandy sighed, “He’s right.”

“I know.”  Judy swallowed and bit her lip.  “I don’t want to go home.”

“I don’t either.”  Sandy echoed.

“Why don’t I take you home so you can get the things you’ll need to stay here for a few days, hmm?  I have plenty of room.”

“Thank you, Alistair.”  Judy kissed him on the cheek.

“Yes.”  Sandy whispered as she did the same.  “Thank you.”

Alistair smiled at them both then stood up.  “Come on then.  I’ll pick something up to eat since we’ve skipped dinner.”  He held up his hand.  “Ah.  No arguing.  If I don’t feed you, and Lionel finds out, he’ll strangle me.”

Judy and Sandy chuckled, knowing Lionel would never do such a thing. 


	8. Chapter 8

“It’s all over the news, Ma’am.”  Tanner told M as she came into her office.  “They’re proclaiming that Phantom has struck again.”

M nodded.  “I know.  I saw that before leaving my flat this morning.”

“But I don’t understand.  It’s been years since Phantom did anything.”

“Phantom didn’t like someone snooping around.”  M answered, thankful she could answer without lying.

“I still don’t understand how they knew.  And is this going to cause a problem for us?”

“Phantom has always seemed to know everything that’s going on within our world, Tanner.  As to your question, yes, it will, though not for a while.  The people Mr. Malfry was working for were sure to get Phantom’s message.  They’ll take their time to come up with a new plan.”

Tanner nodded.  “How is Mrs. Hardcastle?”

“Mr. Hardcastle called last night to say that she’d finally woke up and that the doctors are now saying she’ll be fine physically.  They still aren’t sure of how well she’ll recover mentally.”

“Treasury has already started complaining about the cost of her medical.”

M rolled her eyes and nodded as she sighed, “I know.  I’ve a meeting with the PM at one.”

“I’m sorry, M.”

“I can handle the PM, Tanner.”

Tanner studied the woman then smiled.  “You’re going to use Malfry as leverage.”

M smirked.  “Am I?”

Tanner laughed at that and turned to go back to his office.  The woman was something else again.  How he’d ever despaired over having a woman as boss, well, he’d been wrong, that’s for sure.  She could outmaneuver most of the men she went up against on a day to day basis.  Hah!  _All_ the men she went up against.

M settled behind her desk after the door closed behind Tanner, her mind on what had happened the night before with James.  She still felt a bit unsure, though not of James.  He had more than proved himself.  He’d also been a bit put out with the PM’s secretary this morning for interrupting them.  She chuckled, she hadn’t been very happy either.

Her intercom buzzed, bringing her out of her thoughts.  “Yes, Moneypenny?”

“You’ve a call on line one, Ma’am.”

“Thank you.”  M clicked off then picked up the phone.  “Hello?  Sergei?  What in the world?  Why are you calling me here?” she asked then listened to his explanation.  “I’m sorry.  You were supposed to be out on assignment until next week.  Work has been a bit, well, it’s been work.”  She listened to the man then sighed, “I’ll be home when I can.  I’m not sure what could possibly be so important.”  She rolled her eyes when she hung up.  “Bloody MI5.”

“What was that?”  James asked as he came into her office, closing the door behind him.

“Just my husband.  He says he needs to discuss something with me.  It seems he was called back home early.  Something I’m guessing came up on the home front.”  She rolled her eyes.

“How would they know about it?”  James asked then rolled his eyes.  “The PM.”

M nodded.  “He’s going to try and involve them in this.”

“It isn’t their problem.”

“It did happen on home soil.”

“It’s ours to deal with.”  James scowled as he sat down across from her desk.  “They can’t possibly think that someone here is responsible.”

“If they do, I’ll convince them otherwise.”

“You’re going to tell the PM who Malfry really was?”

“I have to.  Of course, the PM is the one that hired the man into his position, so some of the blame can be laid squarely at his feet for not being more thorough.”

“That will go over well.”

M sighed and nodded.  “About as well as any other time I’ve had to tell the bloody man he made a mistake.”

James got up and walked around M’s desk.  Turning her chair so that she was facing him, he knelt down and reached up to caress her face.  “Meet me for a late lunch after the meeting?”

“I wish I could, James, but now that I know Sergei is home, I can’t.  I’m sure after the meeting is over, I’ll have to go home and talk to my husband.  I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if MI5 has me followed.”

“But you already have a guard.”

“Not that kind of followed.”

“Oh.”

“Yes.”  She nodded.  “Until I get the PM to see that MI5 should have nothing to do with this, I’ll have to be very careful of my movements.”

James nodded.  “I’m going to go talk to Q, see if he’s learned anything new.”

“Don’t pester him, James.”  M told him softly as she caressed his face.  “Thank you again for last night.”

“I’ll give you more nights like that when I can.”

“I’ll look forward to them.”  Clearing her throat and turning back to her desk, M returned to business.  “I’d like you to check in with Mr. Hardcastle before you go to Q Branch.”

James stood and moved back around in front of her desk.  “I will.  At some point we’re going to have to go and get your mobile from him.”

“For now we’ll leave it.  It’s the easiest way to stay in contact.”  M sighed, “I have to know how she’s doing, James.”

“I know, Marti,” he whispered her name, making sure no one could but the two of them could hear.  “Call me after your meeting and let me know how it went.”

“I will.  I’ll need a good stiff drink afterwards, but that will have to wait until after I have the chat with my husband.”

“You know where I live if you need me.”  He winked at her.  “Even if you are being followed.  I’m sure you know the tricks of losing a tail and breaking and entering.”

“James,” she laughed.  “Go on and thank you.”

Smiling at the sound of her laughter, James nodded as he made his way out of her office.  “Be careful,” he called through the open door before he disappeared down the hall.

Moneypenny blinked at the exchange then moved to M’s office.  “Your car is waiting, Ma’am.”

“Thank you, Moneypenny.  Is Mr. Tanner ready?”

“He’s waiting with the car, Ma’am.”

M nodded as she stood and gathered the things she’d need for her meeting and stuffed them into her briefcase.  “I won’t be returning today, Moneypenny.  I have to defuse a personal situation.  If something happens, call my,” she frowned and shook her head.  “Damn it.  Call James’ mobile if it’s something to do with this latest mess.  I really do need to get another mobile from Q.”

Moneypenny smiled.  “I could do that for you, Ma’am, and have it sent to you at your meeting.”

“Thank you, Moneypenny.  I would appreciate it very much.  I’ll be glad when I can go back to using my regular mobile.”

“I’m sure you are, Ma’am.  We’ll all be glad when we can go back to business as usual.  I don’t like not knowing if you’re safe or not.”

“I’m always safe, Moneypenny.  I promise.  I’m always safe.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” 

 

~*~

 

“With all due respect, you can’t possibly believe that MI5 has any business involved in this.”  M scowled at the man across from her.  “Sir, Malfry wasn’t who he said he was.  You can’t put this mess squarely in my lap.  You, Sir, are responsible for hiring the man.  If you had but asked me to use my resources, you would have learned that the man’s name was really, Atwall.  He was the son of a terrorist that was a kill contributed to Phantom.  He was out for revenge.”

“Don’t try to turn this around on me, M.”

M narrowed her eyes, satisfied when the man cleared his throat and squirmed in his chair.  “You are turning it all around on me when I had nothing to do with the man gaining access to the SIS.  Since we don’t know who he was working for, we have no way of knowing just how much information was leaked to our enemies.  Q is concentrating on finding everything he can on the man’s activities, but he was good enough at covering up his tracks that it’s taking longer than we’d hoped.  I will not have MI5, specifically my husband, involving themselves in my investigation.  Having my husband called back early from his mission just so that he can babysit me,” she scowled and left her sentence unfinished as she stood and leaned over the desk, getting into the man’s face.  “Call them off, Sir.  Let me do my job before some other innocent person is harmed.”

Shaking his head, the PM sighed, “You’re a bloody pain in my arse, M.”

“And how many M’s have heard that down through the years?  We’re supposed to be, Sir.  It’s our job.  And, if I might be so bold, I wouldn’t be a pain in your arse if you’d stop interfering in my business.  A business you have no understanding of.”

“Don’t press me, M.  Clean this mess up.”

“I will as long as you stay out of it and do as I’ve asked with MI5.”

“I’ll make the call as soon as you leave.”

“Thank you, Sir.”  M nodded as she gathered her things, a satisfied smirk on her face as she made her way to the door. 

Tanner nearly laughed out loud when he saw the smug look on his boss’ face.  “I take it the meeting went well?”

“Oh don’t be smart, Mr. Tanner.”  M chuckled as they stepped out into the sunshine.  “He only needs to be shown the way.”

“And no one else has the balls to do so, if you’ll pardon my language, Ma’am.”

M laughed and patted him on the arm.  “No need to ask for my pardon.  I’ve heard far worse in my day.”

“Yes, Ma’am.  Now where to?”

“I have to go home.  I’ve my own bit of personal issues to deal with.”

“Oh, here.”  Tanner handed her a mobile.  “Moneypenny sent this over, said you were expecting it.”

“Yes, thank you.”  M took the mobile and immediately sent James a text, careful not to let Tanner see.

“Ma’am?”  Tanner asked after a few moments of riding along in silence.

“Yes?”

“Who was Malfry?”

“The son of a terrorist who happened to be one of Phantom’s kills.”

“That explains why he wanted to know who Phantom is.”

M nodded.  “I would say his revenge didn’t quite work out the way he wanted it to.  He learned who Phantom was, but couldn’t tell the people he was working for.  It would seem he didn’t learn much from his father’s death at the hands of Phantom.”

“Phantom was stuff of legend in the academy.”

“Phantom isn’t stuff of legend, Mr. Tanner.”  M said as she turned to get out of the car when her driver opened her door.  “Phantom _is_ legend,” she finished, wondering what Tanner would do if he knew he’d been working for and alongside Phantom since she’d taken over the M position.

Tanner watched M’s driver escort her to her door and did a bit of wondering himself.  He wondered just how much M knew about Phantom.  Did she know who Phantom was?  Did she know just which government Phantom worked for?  He shook his head.  None of those questions would ever be answered.  He didn’t even know the woman’s first name, forget learning anything else she didn’t wish him to know.

One thing he did know…he was glad he wasn’t the PM.  Or her husband.

 

~*~

 

“Martha, what in the hell is going on?”  Sergei asked as he shoved clothes into his bag.

“Don’t shout at me, Sergei, please?”  M sighed.  “You know everything, I’m sure.”

“I know that a woman that looks exactly like you was kidnapped mistakenly.  I know that the man and the men working for him are all dead.  And I know that I was called back from my mission only to be told just a few moments ago that I’m to pack my bag and go back.”

“MI5 doesn’t need to be involved in this.  It isn’t anything to do with anyone here.”

“From what I’ve been told, you don’t know who was behind this.”

“No, I don’t, but trust my instincts, Sergei.  Remember who taught you.”

Sergei shook his head.  “Don’t, Martha.”

“I’m tired, Sergei.  And really, what does it matter to you?  It isn’t as if we’re a true married couple.  I’m just your cover.  Now go on, you don’t want to miss your flight.”

“They knew what they were doing when they put us together.”  Sergei shook his head.  “If you had been the one they kidnapped, they’d have been begging us to take you back.”

“They wouldn’t have had the chance to beg.”  M hissed.

“No, you’re right.  They wouldn’t have.”  Picking his bag up off the bed, Sergei stared down at her.  “I’ll see you when I see you, Martha.”

“Same as always, Sergei.”  M told him as she watched him walk out of his room.  Feeling her mobile buzz in her pocket, she took it out as she got up and made her way to her own room.  Seeing the message, she shook her head and replied, _Alone.  I’ll be at your place waiting for you to come home_ , before putting the phone on her nightstand and lying back on her bed.  Kicking her shoes off, she let her eyes close as she thought of spending another night in James’ arms.

He was like a drug now that she’d allowed him to make love to her, and she couldn’t seem to keep herself from craving more.  She shook her head at herself.  Even if Sergei hadn’t left, she still would have gone to James, knowing that Sergei would have followed her but not caring because while she’d trained him, she hadn’t taught him all of her tricks and secrets.

“If I did that, he’d know just exactly _who_ I am,” she mumbled as she pushed herself up and began to undress.  If she was going to James’ without her guard, and the tail she was sure she still had, she needed to be in clothes she could maneuver in.

She wasn’t called Phantom for nothing.


	9. Chapter 9

Lionel carried Jean into the library at the country house and smiled when she gasped in surprise.  “Lionel, what on earth?”

“Mrs. Bale, Father, and Madge thought it would be better to make this our bedroom for the time being.”  He scowled a bit when she looked up at him.  “I don’t think they thought I could make it upstairs with you.”

Jean giggled slightly and kissed his jaw.  “You shouldn’t be carrying me up the stairs.  I’m grateful to them.”  Snuggling her head against his shoulder, she sighed, “Why did you bring me here instead of home?”

Lionel bit his lip as he gently laid her down on the bed.  Sitting down beside her as she settled, he lifted her hand and held it between his.  “I thought being here would be best.”  He looked up at her, waiting to see if she understood his reason without him having to say it.

Jean nodded and turned her hand so she could squeeze his.  “Good idea, Love.  The girls don’t need to be frightened anymore than they already have been.”

“They love you.”

“I know they do.  I love them, but the nightmares are hard enough on you.  No need to put everyone I love through that.”  Lifting her free hand, she caressed his cheek.  “It hurts enough that you have to hear me.”

“It hurts that you’re going through this, but no way in hell would I let you go through it without me.”  Lionel growled.

“Even though I know that it hurts you, I can’t imagine trying to do this on my own.”  Laying back against the pillows, she closed her eyes.  “Read to me?  Your reading always seems to help me sleep for a little while without the dreams.”

“Pooh?”

“Yes,” she nodded.  “Winnie the Pooh.”

Lionel kissed her hand then placed it back on the bed.  “I’ll be right back.  I’m not sure where the book is.”

“Suitcase.”  Jean mumbled.

“Mrs. Bale brought our suitcases with her, remember?  Everything’s already been put away.”

“Oh.”  Jean nodded.  “Then I’m not sure.”

“Which is why I’ll be right back.”  Lionel chuckled as he headed out of the room, stopping by the staircase when Mrs. Bale held out a book.

“I thought you might want this.”

Lionel nodded.  “Thank you, Mrs. Bale.  I was just coming to ask you where you put that.  Jean wants me to read to her.”

“Would you like me to fix you something to eat?”

“No, Mrs. Bale.  I think we’re fine until dinner.”

Mrs. Bale nodded.  “Just ring the bell if you need anything.  No need for you to leave her alone.”

Lionel smiled at the woman.  “Thank you, Mrs. Bale.”

Mrs. Bale simply nodded and turned, making her way back to the kitchen.  She’d never let Mr. Hardcastle Jr. see it, but she was just as worried for Mrs. Hardcastle as he was.  She’d heard the nightmares and, hard as she seemed to be, her heart had broken.  She’d found herself crying into her pillow that night, something she hadn’t done in years.  Not since the slender balloonist with piercing blue eyes.

 

~*~

 

“*The Piglet lived in a very grand house in the middle of a beech-tree, and the beech-tree was in the middle of the Forest, and the Piglet lived in the middle of the house.  Next to his house was a piece of broken board which had: ‘TRESPASSERS W’ on it.  When Christopher Robin asked the Piglet what it meant, he said it was his grandfather’s name, and had been in the family for a long time.  Christopher Robin said you couldn’t be called Trespassers W, and Piglet said yes, you could, because his grandfather was, and it was short for Trespassers Will, which was short for Trespassers William.  And his grandfather had had two names in case he lost one – Trespassers after an uncle, and William after Trespassers.”  Lionel paused in his reading when he caught sight of the wistful smile on Jean’s face. 

“What is it, Pooh?” he asked as he reached out and covered her hand with his.

“I,” she started, her voice shaking.  “I remember the night I read this in our bed.  You kissed the top of my head as I read.  You said I wasn’t a very happy little Pooh.”

“You’re a very sad little Pooh now,” his voice was low, his thumb gently caressing the hand he held.

“Hold me while you read some more?”

Not being able to deny her anything, Lionel toed off his shoes then laid down on the bed beside her, letting her settle against his chest before continuing his reading.  “*I’ve got two names,” said Christopher Robin carelessly.  “Well, there you are, that proves it,” said Piglet.  One fine winter’s day when Piglet was brushing away the snow in front of his house, he happened to look up, and there was Winnie-the-Pooh.  Pooh was walking round and round in a circle, thinking of something else, and when Piglet called to him, he just went on walking.”  Feeling Jean’s breathing even out, Lionel put the book away and wrapped his arms around her, his cheek resting on the top of her head.

He stared at the bandages on her feet, thinking about the burns on the soles that prevented her from walking. 

Bastards.

He closed his eyes as he thought back to the day he’d seen the wounds on her face.  She’d cried when she’d caught his reaction, and he’d cried with her as he moved to her bed and held her.  The doctor had stepped back to let them have a moment, and he thought he’d heard the nurse sniffing.  Tenderly kissing her face, being sure to avoid where the stitches were, he’d pulled back and nudged her nose with his to get her to open her eyes.

_“I love you, Jean Hardcastle.”_   He’d whispered then moved out of the way again so the doctor could finish.  Alistair had come the next day with another doctor in tow, this one a plastic surgeon, the best Alistair had assured them.  The doctor had examined Jean’s face and assured her that he could fix the scars and give her back her smooth complexion.

She’d wept again only this time it had been Alistair who held her because she’d pulled him into a hug out of gratitude.  He’d been grateful to the young man as well.  Never again would he think badly of Alistair, no matter how irritating he could some times be.

Alistair didn’t know it, but Lionel had seen his tears.  He knew how much his wife meant to the young man, and he knew how useless he’d felt.  Typical Alistair to find someway to fix things.

Opening his eyes when he heard the door open, he held his finger to his mouth to hush the visitor.  “She’s resting,” he whispered.

Lol stood just inside the room, his hands full of roses.  “I brought them for the missus,” he whispered, his eyes taking in the bandages on Jean’s feet and face.

“Thank you, Lol.  She’ll love them.”  Lionel smiled at the nervous man.  “Take them through to Mrs. Bale.  She’ll put them in a vase and make sure that they’re here when Mrs. Hardcastle wakes up.”

Lol nodded, blinking rapidly.  “She’s a tender woman,” he whispered.

“Yes, Lol, she is.”  Lionel agreed just before Lol left as quietly as he’d come.  Looking down at the little bit of sweetness snuggled against him, he once again marveled at how easily his wife won people over.  It had irritated him when they were younger.  His mates had all fell for Jean the first time they’d met her, and jealousy had gripped him.  He smirked, jealously had gripped for only a short minute…then Jean had gripped him and he’d been undone for far longer than a minute.

 

~*~

 

“Lionel?”  Jean whispered three hours later.

“Yes?”

“Why hasn’t Penny been around?  Surely you’ve told her.”

Lionel sighed and rubbed Jean’s arm.  “Actually we haven’t told her,” he answered and felt Jean stiffen against him.  “Ah, now, let me explain.”

“Okay.  Explain.”

“You know how she upsets the girls.  And she knows nothing about you having gone missing.  She actually met the other you.”

Jean raised an eyebrow as she moved back so she could look up at Lionel.  “She did?”

Lionel smirked.  “She did.”

“Oh my.  How did that go over?”

“Rather comically.”  Lionel grinned.  “She didn’t know what hit her.  The other you,” he shook his head and scowled.  “I really wish I knew what the woman’s name was.”

“M.”  Jean supplied the name for him.

“Em?  What’s so bloody special about that, that she couldn’t tell me?”

Jean shook her head.  “Not Em.  M.”

“M?  As in the thirteenth letter of the alaphabet?”

Jean nodded.  “As in.”

Lionel frowned.  “What kind of name is that?”

“I suppose it’s how she keeps her real identity a secret.”  Jean studied Lionel’s hand.  “When I told them my name was Jean, they said that they didn’t care what my name was on the outside, they knew who I was on the inside.  Or rather, she was.”

“I’m sorry to have brought the subject up.”

“You didn’t.”  Jean told him, tilting her head to kiss his cheek.  “Now tell me about her meeting with Penny and Stephen.”

“They came here after I’d brought her here to keep her away from the girls.  Penny called her, _Poor Jean_.”

“Uh oh.”

“Uh oh.”  Lionel nodded.  “Penny kept on and on, you know how she is.”

“Yes, I do.”  Jean sighed.  “Go on.”

“Well, where all the rest of us get rattled by the woman, M didn’t.  Penny didn’t know what to think.  The last straw was when M told her that she and Stephen had interrupted us.”  Lionel stopped, waiting to see if Jean got what he hadn’t said.

Jean blinked up at him in surprise.  “She didn’t,” she breathed, trying hard not to giggle.

Lionel smiled at the sight of the half grin on his wife’s face and the giggle he’d heard in her voice.  “Yes, she did.  Penny told her not to be vulgar.”

Jean giggled then, her blue eyes filled with their old sparkle.  “Oh no.  She’ll be impossible when we see her again.”

Lionel shook his head.  “M apologized and said that she’d probably fixed a mess for you, but I told her I didn’t think so.  Penny needed someone to stand up to her like that.  I think you’re going to see a very different Penny from now on.”

“What about Stephen?”

“You know Stephen.  He was confused.  “My word,” he kept saying.  He was as rattled as ever, though I’m not sure who rattled him more.  Ol’ Penn, or M.”  Lionel laughed.

“So then we shouldn’t tell Penny anything about me.”

“No, we shouldn’t.  If they happen to show up before you’re well, then we’ll think of something, but we aren’t going to purposefully go out of our way to say anything to them.”

Jean nodded.  “It’s probably for the best.  I can’t think of how I would explain this.”  She frowned.  “What about our anniversary?  How did you explain cancelling the surprise party?”

Lionel blinked in surprise.  “Now how did you know about that?”

Jean looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a, _Really?_ , look on her face.

“Oh, right.”  Lionel shook his head.  “Listening at doors again.”

Jean shrugged.  “You were all sneaking about.  I didn’t have to listen at doors.”

Lionel kissed the top of her head.  “We simply told Penny that things had fell through with the location and that we had to reschedule because we had to have it at that location as it was special to us.”

Jean smiled.  “The little inn.”

“The little inn.”

“Oh Lionel.  That was your idea.”

“Yes, it was.”

Jean settled against him and draped her arm across his stomach.  “Lionel?”

“Yes, Love?”

“I want to meet her.”

“Why?” he asked, not needing to ask who she meant.

“Because I want to see the woman who looks so much like me.  I need to, Lionel.  Please?”

“Alright.  I’ve the number to call.  I’ll call in the morning.”

“Thank you.”  Jean yawned.  “I’m hungry.”

“I’m sure Mrs. Bale has something to eat ready and waiting.”  He carefully turned and leaned over a bit, picking up the small bell.  Giving it a couple of rings, he set it back by the lamp and chuckled when Jean smiled up at him.  “I won’t overdo it this time.  Mrs. Bale isn’t as nice as you.  She’ll brain me with it if I use it too much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * _Winnie the Pooh_ by A. A. Milne


	10. Chapter 10

M smoothed down her jacket then ran a hand over her slacks.  “Is this really what I should wear?”

“Marti, stop fussing so.”  James told her as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.  “It’s going to be alright.”

“Is it?”

“I’ve never seen you this way before.”

“I can’t help it, James.”  She turned into him, letting him cuddle her.  “I’m the reason she was taken.”

“Marti, it’s not your fault.”

“You keep saying that, but it is my fault.”

“And _you_ keep saying _that_.  You didn’t take her or hire the men to take her, did you?  You didn’t set out for revenge, did you?  You didn’t make her look like you, did you?”

“You sound like a broken record.”  M sighed and settled further into his embrace.  “Thank you for last night.”

Nuzzling her neck, James smiled at her change of subject.  “No need to thank me when the pleasure was all mine,” he said as he nibbled her earlobe, letting the subject of her guilt go for the time being.

“Well,” she started then moaned.  “Ooh, not all of it.”

James’ hands fondled her breasts through her jacket.  “You’ll be fine, Marti.  I’ll be waiting right here for you with dinner and some loving.”

Pulling back, M smiled up at him.  “Just some?”

James shook his head as he cupped her face.  “No, not just some.  I’ll give you everything you want.”

Smiling up at him, M nodded.  “What I want will depend on how badly this goes.”

“It isn’t going to go badly.”

“Keep saying that.”  M whispered as she straightened herself.  “You mussed me.”

James shook his head.  “What did you expect me to do with you pressed up against me?”

M gave him a scowl then smiled.  “You’re very good for an old woman’s ego.”

“You are not old.”  James scowled back at her.  “I can go with you if you’d like.”

M shook her head as she walked to where her coat was.  “No.  I need to do this myself.”

“Alright.  Then my offer stands.”  James told her as he helped her into her coat.  Turning her to face him, he caressed her cheek.  “I’ll be waiting with open arms, Marti.  Just remember that.”

M shivered at the low, deep rumble of his voice.  “How could I forget?” she asked him with a smile as she pressed a light kiss on his lips.  “Give Q a call, hmm?”

“I was going to.  I promise to text you if he has any new information.”

“Thank you, James.”

James watched M as she made her way out to her waiting car and sighed.  He hadn’t let her see, but he was just as worried about how this meeting would go as she was.  Just seeing the woman and being reminded by the bandages on her face, what had happened to her was going to be hard enough.  He knew from the medical reports they’d received from the hospital that Mrs. Hardcastle would be undergoing cosmetic surgery next week, which was a good thing.  He was also sure it was something that M’s superiors would be squawking about.  He had a feeling their squawking would be silenced with one of M’s death glares.

He shivered when he remembered the first time she’d leveled him with that glare.  He’d faced down men triple her size, hell, twice _his_ size, without reaction other than the fight.  And yet…this petite woman with the most stunning blue eyes he’d ever seen, levels him with just a look and he’d been near quaking in his shoes.

Dangerous, and most probably deadly when need be.

Then he smiled as he remembered their first night together.

He was sure that once he’d made her fully realize that she was still a very desirable woman, no doubts left in her mind so that she was willing to take more of a lead in their love making, that dangerous would take on a whole new meaning.

And he couldn’t wait.

Now though, he would go out to the store and get the ingredients he’d need to make her a special dinner.  Wine, dine, and make love – in that order.

 

~*~

 

Lionel stared down at M as she waited patiently to be let inside.  “I didn’t want this.”

“I can leave.”

“No.”  He shook his head.  “Jean needs to meet you and I’ll do whatever she wants.”  Lionel saw the pain flash in M’s eyes and had to look away.  Clearing his throat, he moved to let her inside.  Closing the door after her, he pointed to the library door.  “Jean’s in there.  I’ll go ask Mrs. Bale to bring tea.”

M nodded, surprised that he wouldn’t be going in with her.  Waiting until he’d disappeared around the corner, she turned and walked to the door.  Reaching out, she took a deep breath as she lifted her hand to knock.

“Come in,” sounded from behind the door.

Steadying herself, M opened the door and walked inside coming face to face with her exact duplicate.

Jean stared at the woman standing before her.  She felt as though she were in a bad movie at the cinema.  It was utterly surreal to be sitting, staring at a person who looked exactly like her.  “So you’re M.”

M nodded.  “I am,” she acknowledged quietly.

“Come, sit.”  Jean nodded toward the chair beside her bed.  “I’m sorry not to get up, but,” she shrugged as she held up a bandaged foot.

“I’m the one who should be apologizing.”  M whispered as she sat down and stared at the tips of her right hand.

“Let me see.”  Jean held out her hand for M’s.  Staring down at the scars, she traced them gently.  “So this is why he finally believed me.”

“Yes.  I knew that if he touched your hand, it would give you away.”

“How did it happen?”  Jean asked quietly as she continued to study the scars.  The silence made her look up, and the haunted look in her double’s eyes gave her the answer.  “You were tortured.”

“Yes, I was.”  M confirmed softly.  “They wrapped my fingers around a heated gun barrel.”

Studying the woman, Jean titled her head and let go of her hand.  “They did more than that.”

“Yes.”

“So you know what I’m going through.”  Jean bit her lip.  “Only I think, you had it worse.”

“Torture is torture, Mrs. Hardcastle.”  M told the woman quietly.  “And yes, I know.”

“Did you have someone like my Lionel?”

M smiled sadly and nodded.  “I did.  The man who rescued me.  We were married two years later.”

“You’ve lost him.”

“Years ago.  He was,” M bit her lip and shook her head.

“Ah.  Job related death.”  Jean guessed.  Hearing the knock on the door, she called out for Mrs. Bale to enter, knowing instinctively that Lionel wouldn’t be back until much later.

Mrs. Bale stopped and nearly dumped the tray she carried when she caught sight of M.  Looking from one woman to the other and back again, she blinked to clear her eyes.  “Mrs. Hardcastle?”

“We told you she looked like me.”  Jean smiled at the housekeeper.

“Indeed, but it is still a bit startling.”  Mrs. Bale told her as she moved to set the tray down on the beside table.  “Shall I pour?”

“No thank you, Mrs. Bale.  We’ll be alright.”

“Just ring if you need anything else.”

“I will.  Where is Lionel?”

“Mr. Hardcastle Jr. is out in the garden with Mr. and Mrs. Hardcastle Sr.”

Jean smiled at the look on M’s face as she nodded at Mrs. Bale.  “Thank you.”

M watched the housekeeper leave then turned to Jean.  “She’s an odd duck.”

“Yes, she is, but she’s very loyal to us.  This whole thing has shaken her up a bit.”

“Hasn’t it shaken you all up more than a bit?”

Jean nodded.  “It has.  Lionel I think most of all.”

“Because he loves you.”  M stared down into the cup of tea Jean handed her.  “He told me how you met and how you lost each other for thirty eight years.  He,” she bit her lip to stop it from trembling.  “He begged me to find you because he didn’t want to be lost again.”

Jean felt her eyes fill with tears.  “He didn’t have a very happy life.  His first wife was a cold woman.”

“And he was still in love with you.”  M whispered as she gave Jean a knowing look.

“Yes.”  Jean nodded as she lifted a hand to her face.  “He cried when he saw my face.”

“He cried when he saw you after we found you in that abandoned building.”  M sipped her tea then continued.  “I’m so very sorry, Mrs. Hardcastle.  I should have been the one tortured.”

“Yes, you’re right.  You should have been.”  Lionel said from his place in the open door.

“Lionel!”  Jean gasped as she looked at her husband.  She’d never heard him speak in such a way.  As she studied him, she saw the anger and pain in his eyes and realized that this was why he hadn’t wanted her to meet with M.

“It’s quite alright, Mrs. Hardcastle.  He’s only expressing my sentiments as well as those of my superiors.”

Jean blinked at that.  “I don’t think I understand.”

“I have training for such things, Mrs. Hardcastle, and it is my duty to Queen and country.  You’ve no such training or duty.”

“I still don’t see how Lionel could be so,” Jean shook her head, too confused to go on.

“He loves you, Mrs. Hardcastle.  He’s heard you scream in terror from a nightmare.  He’s seen you cry.  He’s seen the marks and bruises they left on you.  A man as much in love with his wife as your Lionel is, has every right to feel as he does toward me.”  M stood and leaned over to place her tea cup and saucer back on the tray.  “I think I’d best be going.  Good luck with your surgery next week.”

“What is your real name?  Surely you are more than just a letter.”  Jean whispered, stopping M before she could make it to the door.

“I am no more than a letter, Mrs. Hardcastle.  It is who I had to become when I took this position.”

Jean watched M leave then looked at Lionel.  “She doesn’t deserve to be hated, Lionel.  She didn’t do this to me.  It isn’t her fault that by some quirk of nature we look identical to each other.  She feels guilty enough without us adding to it.”

Lionel shook his head.  “I’ll be right back.”

Jean smiled at him and nodded, whispering, “That’s my love,” as he walked from the room.

“M.”  Lionel called as he caught up with her outside.  “Wait a moment.”

M sighed then turned and looked at Lionel.  “Yes, Mr. Hardcastle?”

“I’m sorry.”  Lionel apologized quietly.  “Jean made me see how wrong I was.  She said that it wasn’t your fault that a quirk of nature made the two of you identical.  And she was right.”  Reaching out, he touched her arm.  “It isn’t your fault.”

“Thank you, Mr. Hardcastle.”  M nodded.  “Now, go back in to your wife.”

Lionel reached into his pocket and pulled out the mobile she’d given him.  “Here.  I don’t believe we’ll need this anymore.”

“No, you’re right.  You won’t.”  M took the phone and slid it into her pocket.  “Goodbye, Mr. Hardcastle.”

Lionel watched as M slid into the back seat of her waiting car then turned and walked back into the house.  He knew they’d never hear from the woman again, but he couldn’t help but think that now that they knew about her…well, he wasn’t sure if they’d seen the last of her.

“Lionel.”  Jean called when she heard the door close.  “Come here, Love.”

Lionel walked into the library and smiled.  “I love you, Jean Hardcastle.”

Holding out her arms, Jean wrapped them around him when he settled against her.  “I love you, too.”  Caressing Lionel’s head, she pressed a kiss to the top.  “I feel sorry for her.”

“Why?”

“Because she doesn’t have anyone to love her like you love me.”

 

~*~

 

M walked into James’ arms and buried her face in his chest.  “She’s,” she started then shook her head.

James held M close, his hand caressing her back.  “She’s everything you would have been had you gone another way,” he finished for her.  “But if you’d gone another way, so many things would have gone the wrong way because you wouldn’t have been there to deal with them and make them go in our favor.”  He smiled when she looked up at him.  “You’ve done so much for your country, Marti.  Besides,” he whispered as he wiped at her tears with his thumbs.  “You never would have met your Thomas,” he leaned closer before finishing, “or me.”

“Oh James.”  M sighed then pulled back.  “She should hate me, but she doesn’t.  She told me the same thing you’ve been telling me.”  She shook her head.  “I just don’t understand how she could possibly feel sorry for me after what she’s been through.  She guessed that I’d been tortured.”

“Her husband did tell you that you and she were a lot alike.”

“So he did.”  M rolled her head and rubbed her temple.  “I really should go to the office.”

“It’s Saturday, M.  There’s no need for it.”

“I still should go in.  The PM and the others are continuing to breathe down my neck over this whole mess.”

“I don’t give a feck what the PM and those asshats think, you’re not going in.”

M laughed at the mental image James’ adjective conjured.  Reaching up and cupping the back of his head, she pulled him down to press a kiss to his lips.  “Cheeky bugger,” she murmured.

Caressing over the curve of her buttocks, James patted her.  “Go rest.  You’ll have time for a nice nap and a soak in a warm bath before dinner.”

“You don’t want me to stay here and help you?” she asked as she caressed his chest.

“No, I don’t.  I have this all planned out and I intend to stick to that plan.  You being here in the room with me will only distract me.”

“And just what is your plan?  Ply me with food and wine and then get me into bed?”

James grinned.  “Wine, dine, make love.  In that order.”

“Mmm, I think I like the sound of that.”

“You need a bit of pampering after today.  Now go on.”  He gently nudged her in the direction of his bedroom, watching as she walked slowly and tiredly out of the room.  He sighed and turned back to the kitchen.  He hadn’t asked how Mr. Hardcastle had acted, but he really didn’t need to.  He could guess because it was the way he would feel, though it wasn’t rational to feel that way. 

M wasn’t responsible for what had happened.  He knew that, kept telling her that.  But yet, if he were in Mr. Hardcastle’s place, he’d put the blame squarely on the shoulders of the woman his wife had been mistaken for.

 

~*~

 

M hummed into the soft kiss against her lips.  “James, how lovely,” she whispered as she opened her eyes and smiled up at him.

James handed her a glass of wine and winked at her.  “Enjoying your soak?”

“Immensely,” she answered after taking a sip of her wine.

“Well, dinner is nearly done and your water almost cold, so come on,” he took the wine glass from her after she’d taken another sip.  “Let me help you out of the tub.”  He placed the glass on the floor away from them then turned back to her with a big fluffy towel.

M stood and smiled as James held out his hand to help her then wrapped her up in the towel he’d warmed by the fire.  “Mmm, this feels nice.”

Gently patting her dry, James returned her smile.  “You smell nice.  I take it you like my choice of bath oil?”

“Did you buy it just for me?”

“I did.”

“It’s wonderful.  Very relaxing scent.”

“That’s what I was hoping for.”  James told her as he finished patting her dry.  “Now,” he turned to hang the towel on the wrack by the door then lifted a shirt from the hook.  “Why don’t you just wear this for the time being.  No sense in getting back into that suit.  I want you to stay comfortable.”  He stepped closer, helping her into the shirt.  “Besides, this will make it easier for me later on.”

M smiled then wrinkled her nose at him when he laughed at the way the way her arms got lost in the sleeves of his shirt.  “Oh hush,” she hissed, trying not to laugh with him.

“Let me help you with that, Little Bit.”

M raised an eyebrow.  “Little Bit?”

“Yes.”  James nodded as he concentrated on rolling up the sleeves.  “My little bit of sexy vixen.”

“You’re full of it.  You know that, Mr. Bond?”

Eyes twinkling, James pulled her close, whispering in her ear, “You’ll be full of _it_ , much, much later.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Lionel!  Lionel!”  Jean screamed as she tossed about, lost in another nightmare.

Lionel pulled Jean close, holding her against his chest as he rubbed her back.  “I’m right here.  I’m here.  You’re safe.”

Fingers clutching at his pajama shirt, Jean fought to come out of her dream, Lionel’s voice guiding her.  She hadn’t had a nightmare this severe since the first days after she’d been rescued, and had no idea why she’d had one like this now.

“Are you alright, Pooh?”  Lionel asked as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

“I am now,” she answered quietly.  “I don’t know why I had such a nightmare after all of this time.”

“I don’t know.  I do know that I hate that even the smallest nightmares still plague you and that they probably always will to some degree.”

Snuggling closer, Jean relaxed against Lionel.  “I’ll be fine as long as I have you here to guide me back.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”  Lionel assured her as he caressed her hair.  “Would you like me to read to you?”

Jean shook her head.  “No.  I,” she bit her lip as she titled her head back to look up at him.  “It’s been so long, Lionel, please will you,”

“Will I what?” he gently prodded her to continue, nearly certain he knew what she wanted.

“Make love to me, Lionel.  We haven’t been together that way since the day I was taken.”

“You’ve not been able, and I’m not certain you are now.  You’re still recovering from your latest surgery.”

“That was three weeks ago, Lionel,” she reminded him.

Lionel nodded.  “I know that, Jean.  I,” he started then sighed as he continued.  “I don’t know that I can.”

Jean pulled away and stared at him.  “You don’t know that you can?  I don’t think I understand.  Are you trying to tell me that I’m not,” she started then swallowed down the lump that was forming in her throat.  “Are you saying that you don’t,” his finger on her lip stopped her.

“Never,” he hissed, his eyes holding hers.  “Never, Jean.  Never.”

“Then I don’t understand.”

“My fear of hurting you would distract me, and when I make love to you, the only thing I want to think about is that.  I only want to think of you and how your body feels under my hands, pressed against me.”  He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face as he looked down at his hands.  “Fear is a very powerful deterrent for arousal.”  Feeling her hands tugging at his, Lionel looked up in time to see her moving into his lap, her legs on either side of his. 

Smiling at him, her eyes bright with tears, Jean nuzzled his neck.  “You won’t hurt me, I promise,” she whispered against his ear.  Combing the hair at the nape if his neck with gentle fingers, she pulled back to look at him.  “Make love to me just like this.  It will be slow and easy, no way to hurt either of us.”

Reaching up to cup her face, he hesitated, not sure he should.  Smiling when her hands covered his and brought them to her cheeks, he pulled her forward, pressing his lips to hers in a slow kiss.

Jean closed her eyes as she held his hands to her face and got lost in his kiss.  Letting go of his hands, she moved hers down to the buttons of his pajama shirt.  Moaning into his kiss, she panted when he broke away, her fingers finally making contact with his bare chest.

“Move off my lap a moment,” he whispered as he shrugged out of his shirt.

Jean did as told, tugging her knickers off as she watched him stand and push down his trousers and underwear.  Leaving her gown for him, she climbed back onto his lap once he’d settled against his pillows.  Leaning forward, she nibbled on his bottom lip, feeling him tremble beneath her.  “Take it off, Love,” she breathed.

Sliding his hands up her legs, Lionel smoothed the silky material of her gown up until it was over her head and on the floor with his pajamas.  In the light of the moon, he could see the scars left behind from her kidnapping, and he felt his heart aching all over again at the thoughts of what she’d gone through.  Tenderly using the fingertips of one hand to trace each new mar to her perfect skin, he used the other to cup and gently knead her breasts, moving from one to the other, forefinger and thumb rolling and tweaking the taut nipples.

Jean hummed her pleasure as she let her head fall back, her eyes closed, her fingernails gently tickling at the nape of his neck.  Gasping when Lionel gently suckled a nipple into his warm mouth, she moved her hips against him, feeling him respond.

Looking up at her, Lionel caressed the hollow of her throat with his thumb.  “You’re beautiful, Jean,” he whispered.

Staring down at him, Jean lifted herself up, slowly settling herself back over him, sighing at the feel of him inside her.  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she rested her forehead against his as they began to move together, his arms holding her close.  She could feel the tender touch of his hand on the curve of her buttock, and smiled a bit at the thought.  He’d always had a thing for her arse and breasts.

“What are you smiling about?”  Lionel asked her, his voice quiet as their movements grew in intensity. 

“I was thinking about how fond you’ve always been of my arse and breasts.”

“Mmm,” he murmured as he caressed the buttock his hand rested against.  “More than just fond.  You have no idea how many times I’ve had to fight myself to keep from taking you over your desk because you bent over and I either saw down your blouse or your skirt was pulled taut across your perfectly round buttocks.”  Moving his head, he nipped at her earlobe, then licked against the pulse point on her neck.

Jean moaned at that as she moved a hand down to touch herself, gasping and trembling when Lionel’s hand joined hers.  His lips were still busy at her neck, concentrating on the spots he knew turned her on.  She could feel her climax rolling over her, slow and easy, making her warm and just a bit fuzzy headed.

Lionel felt her body clutching at him, his own climax close.  Wrapping both arms back around her, he pressed her body tightly against him as he thrust up into her in three hard, powerful thrusts, grunting as he came.

Jean sighed as she caressed Lionel’s arms, her legs beginning to ache from their position.  “Ooh,” she moaned when she moved off his lap and settled at his side, her head resting on his chest.  “See,” she murmured a few moments later.

“See what?”  Lionel asked, his voice still a bit husky from left over arousal.

“You didn’t hurt me.”

Smiling, Lionel trailed a finger down her spine.  “No, I didn’t.”

Yawning, Jean snuggled closer, tucking her head under Lionel’s chin.  “I think I can sleep peacefully now.”

Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Lionel smiled as he clasped her hand in his, holding them over his heart.  “Good.  Sleep, Pooh.  I’m here.”

 

~*~

 

Lionel eased his arms from around Jean, hurrying as best he could so that he could grab his pajama pants and robe then go see who it was at the door.  He knew Mrs. Bale would answer the door, but he didn’t want her sending whoever it was away to keep from disturbing him or Jean, especially if it was the girls and Alistair.  Taking a look at Jean to make sure she hadn’t stirred, he opened the door.

“Lionel.”  Judy whispered as she walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Hey.”  Lionel murmured as he held her and caressed her back.  “What is it?”

Alistair closed the door and sighed as he looked at Lionel.  “Nightmare,” he whispered.

Lionel nodded.  “Ah.”

“She was screaming and I couldn’t help her.”

“She’s okay, Judy.”  Lionel assured her.  “Why don’t you let me go change and then you can go in and cuddle with her?  Maybe get a bit more rest, hmm?”

Judy looked up at her step-father, tears on her cheeks.  “She had a nightmare too, didn’t she?”

Lionel was a bit startled by the question, but then nodded.  He should have known Judy would realize that.  “Yes, she did.  It’s not uncommon for her to have them, but this one was worse than they’ve been for a while.”  Pressing a kiss to Judy’s forehead, he smiled down at her.  “I’ll be right back.  Why don’t you go into the kitchen with Alistair and let Mrs. Bale make you some tea?”

Alistair smiled at Lionel as he walked over to them and wrapped an arm around Judy.  “Come on.  I’m sure Mrs. Bale already has the tea waiting.”

Lionel watched them as they made their way to the kitchen and sighed.  He’d hoped to let Jean sleep some more, but Judy needed her mother.  Jean could rest after they’d talked.

Smiling as he came back into the bedroom, Lionel walked over to the bed and leaned over to kiss Jean’s forehead.  “Wake up, Jean.”

Jean stirred and blinked up at him.  “What is it?”

“You need to put your night clothes back on.  Judy and Alistair are here, and Judy needs her mother.”

Jean sat up and took her clothes from Lionel, frowning as she put them back on.  “What’s happened?”

“Seems you weren’t the only one with nightmares last night.”

Jean sighed as she carefully stood up so that they could tidy the bed.  “My poor baby.”

Lionel nodded as he pulled clothes out to put on.  “I told her she could come in and snuggle up to her mum and have some rest.”

“Didn’t Alistair do anything to help her?”  Jean asked as she settled back against her pillows, watching as Lionel tucked his shirt into his pants.

“He did what he could, but he’s not you, and from her description of the dream, it’s you she needs.  Besides,” Lionel started then sat down beside Jean, taking her hand.  “Alistair has been sharing his bed with both Judy and Sandy.  Getting up to more than just a cuddle would be rather awkward.”

“Both girls?”

Lionel nodded.  “He asked me not to say anything, but the girls don’t feel comfortable staying at the house without us, and neither of them want to sleep alone.”

“Surely they could just share a bed.”

“Alistair suggested that, but they wanted to stay with him.”  Lionel squeezed her hand.  “They’re both very upset over this and I think being near him makes them feel safe.  If we were home, I’d be sleeping with three women in my bed instead of just one.”

Jean laughed a bit at that as she tugged him closer.  “Big teddy bear,” she murmured against his lips.

Kissing her nose after she pulled back, Lionel stood up.  “I’m going to go tell Judy she can come in now.  I want both of you to rest.  Don’t worry about anything else.  Alistair and I will be just fine.”

Jean nodded as she yawned and scooted down onto her pillows.  “I am still rather tired.”

“As well you should be after what you got up to last night.”  Lionel teased her with a wink.

“I think it was you that got _up_ to something.”

Lionel laughed at that as he got up and walked to the door.  “Rest well.”

“Don’t murder Alistair.”

“I promise.”

 

~*~

 

Judy snuggled into her mother’s arms, tears rolling down her cheeks.  “Oh Mum,” she whimpered.  “You were screaming and I couldn’t help you.  I tried but it was like someone was holding me back.”

“Shh.”  Jean soothed as she caressed Judy’s head, smoothing her mussed hair.  “I’m safe now, Love.  And I’m going to stay that way.”

“How can you know that?”

“She won’t let it happen again, Judith.”

“But she can’t be sure.”

“If there’s anyone that can be sure, it’s her.  Trust me, Love.  I promise we’re all safe.”

Snuggling closer, Judy yawned.  “I miss you.”

“I know you do, and I miss being home, but right now I need to be here.”

“The nightmares?”

“That and I still can’t walk well.  It’s easier to be here where I can have a bedroom downstairs.  If I were home, Lionel and I would have to make our bedroom in the sitting room.  That would be quite awkward.”

Judy chuckled slightly.  “I suppose it would.”

“Why don’t we see if Alistair can find someone to run the office so you and Sandy can come stay here for a while?  Hmm?”

Judy shook her head.  “No.  You need to be with just Lionel for now.”  She yawned again.  “But I do think Sandy and I will be spending the weekends here more often.”

“You know that you’re welcome.”  Jean pressed a kiss to Judy’s head.  “Now, sleep.  I think we could both do with some more.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve fallen asleep in your arms.”  Judy whispered, sleep slowly overtaking her.

“Yes, it has.”  Jean agreed.  “After your last marriage broke up if I remember right.”

“Mmm.”  Judy hummed sleepily.  “I miss it.”

“I do too, Love.”  Jean whispered, her eyes closing as she listened to Judy’s breathing even out.  No matter how old Judy got, she would always be her baby, and always have a place in her arms.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter for this story. I left loose ends, but this is only the first in a series, so I promise those loose ends will be tied up as the series goes.

 

 

 

 

M sighed as she stared out the windows of her office.  Q had come to her with information about who might possibly have been behind Malfry’s attempts to find the identity of Phantom.  The name had brought up memories M would rather have left tucked in the dark corners of her mind.

James was back in the field, although he’d not been very happy about it.  He hadn’t wanted to leave her when so many things were still up in the air about this blasted mess, but she knew that he had to go back to his real job before someone in the higher ups got suspicious of them spending so much time together.  The last thing she needed was to be investigated for having an affair with one of her agents.

And then there was Sergei.  He’d returned home after his mission and had done nothing but yell and shout any time they were at the flat together.  She had no idea what his problem was, why he’d suddenly taken to fighting with her, but she was getting quite fed up with it.  She supposed she could file for divorce as there was really no reason for them to continue this farce of a marriage, but something kept her from it.

“Sorry to disturb you, Ma’am, but Bond is on line one.”  Moneypenny said as she stuck her head into M’s office.  “You also have a lunch meeting in a hour.”

“Thank you, Moneypenny.”

“Ma’am?”

“Yes?”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m quite alright, Moneypenny.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”  Moneypenny nodded then left the office, closing the door behind her.

M took a deep breath then picked up the phone.  “What is it, Bond?”

“I’m coming home.  This vacation has been ruined by a tropical storm.”

M knew the code, something had gone wrong with their intended target, but it wasn’t like James to give up.  Something else had happened.  Something that had James going against his usual M.O. 

“I’m sorry your vacation hasn’t been all that you expected.   Be careful returning home, don’t get caught in the storm.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

M placed the receiver back in its cradle and rubbed her temples.  Her head was beginning to hurt from all of the stress.  She’d go home but for the fact that Sergei was there.  Then she remembered the key hidden within the secret pocket of her handbag.

Grabbing her coat, briefcase, and handbag, M made her way out of her office, pausing at Moneypenny’s desk.  “Moneypenny, I’m leaving early for my lunch appointment, and I won’t be returning to the office.  If anything comes up, refer it to Mr. Tanner unless it requires my immediate attention.  Call down and request that my car meet me out front.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Take off early if you can, Moneypenny.”

“I’ll try, Ma’am.”  Moneypenny told her, watching as M walked slowly to the lift.  Lifting the phone, she placed the call for M’s car, then called Bill.  She knew something had to be wrong for M to not return to work after a meeting.  Bill assured her that M would be fine, but she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was just as worried as she was.

 

~*~

 

James knew that things weren’t right the minute he’d stepped off the plane at his destination.  The mess at the hotel had only confirmed it.  What he hadn’t told M when he talked to her, was that he was already home.  He’d booked a seat on the next flight back to London which had been two hours after he’d found his reserved hotel room in a shambles.  He’d called a contact that had eyes and ears all over the city and had learned all he needed to know before settling down in the plush leather seat of first class to make the return trip.

Now, he stood staring at the petite figure curled on his sofa, her small feet peeking out from beneath the throw she’d pulled over herself.  He could see that she wasn’t resting well by the lines on her forehead, and wondered what had happened that she’d escaped to his flat.

“Marti,” he whispered as he paused beside the sofa, knowing not to touch her before she was awake.  Seeing her eyes flutter open, he sat down beside her and caressed her cheek.  “What is it?  What’s happened?”

M rubbed her eyes as she sat up and leaned against James.  “Nothing and everything,” she answered.  “It’s all given me such a headache I couldn’t concentrate.”

“But why are you here?”

“I couldn’t stand to go home to fight with Sergei.  That’s all we’ve been doing since he returned from his last mission.”

“Do you think he’s learned of us?”

“No.  I told you he wouldn’t care.  I don’t know what it is.”

“Maybe his mission didn’t go well?”

“That’s never been a problem before.”

“Marti, why don’t you leave him?  Surely they can’t expect you to stay with him for the sake of a cover story anymore.”

“I’d thought about that, but,” M paused and looked up at James.  “I can’t explain it, but I don’t think it would be wise right now.”

Caressing her face, James pressed a kiss to her temples then forehead.  “Why don’t you go into the bedroom and get comfortable?  I’ll be in and give you a bit of a massage.  I hate to see you so tense.”

Standing, M smiled up at him as she cupped his cheek.  “Thank you for taking such wonderful care of me.”

“I don’t do it for thanks, Marti.”  Cupping her face, James tenderly kissed her, his thumbs caressing her cheekbones.  “I love you, Marti.  I only do it because I love you, no other reason.”

M smiled and pressed a kiss to his palm as she moved away.  “Hurry.”

“I will.”  James winked at her.  “I thought you might like a bit of a drink.”

“Yes.”

“Go on now.”  James gently patted her behind, grinning wildly when she turned and glared at him, the twinkle in her eyes ruining the effect.

 

~*~

 

M moaned as James mouth found the sensitive spot just behind her ear.  Her fingers trailed up over his chest as he continued to press light, nibbling kisses along her neck, shoulders and across her collar bones.  In the process of giving her a massage, he had slowly and methodically began to undress her, until she stopped him and made him turn out the lights.  It had caused a bit of a fuss, but he’d given in when she’d trailed a finger around the waistband of his trousers then skimmed it down the zipper.

“Marti?”  James whispered as he pulled back and looked down at her.

“Mmm?”

“Why do you still insist on no lights?  Surely I’ve earned your trust by now.”

“Oh James,” she sighed as she moved her legs further apart to better cradle his body against her.  “I do trust you, but,”

“Shh.”  James hushed her with a light kiss.  “I’m sorry.  I won’t push.  When you’re ready, I’ll be right here.”

M raised an eyebrow at that as she wiggled against him.  “I should hope so.  No one else would be where you are.”

“Oh!”  James huffed then kissed her.  “Cheeky.”

“You love my cheek.”

“All four of them.”

“Now who’s being cheeky?”  M asked as she smiled and pinched a taut buttock.  “I do love you, James.”

Gently pushing forward, James held her gaze as he filled her, groaning at the tightness that surrounded him as he settled as far as he could.  Lifting one of her hands, he pressed a kiss to the palm then the wrist before working his way up her arm until he came to where it rested beside her breast.  Switching his attention from her arm, he worked his kisses over the heavy fullness until his mouth was suckling at a taut nipple, making M moan and grip his arms.

“Oh James,” she breathed as she tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him to her.  Pushing her hips up into his, she encouraged him to move, needing him to finish what he’d started with his massage.  “Please,” she whimpered when he ground against her.  “Don’t tease, just make love to me.”

Moving from her breasts, James nuzzled her neck then looked down at her.  “Everything will be alright, Marti,” he whispered as he gently began to thrust his hips.  Kissing her face, her mouth, her neck, he swallowed the soft cries she was making.

Wrapping her arms and legs around him, M arched up against him, whimpering as she dug her fingers into his back.  Each powerful thrust brought her close, oh so close, but she needed more.  “James,” she breathed.  “More.”

Sliding his hand between them, he circled her clit with his thumb, giving her the more she asked for.  Smiling when he felt her body tense, her inner muscles clenching around him, he pushed her legs back to change the angle of penetration then picked up his rhythm. 

M felt the change in angles and trembled as her orgasm continued to roll over her.  Crying out when James slammed into her with a loud grunt, she came again, harder than before.

James collapsed against M, panting to catch his breath.  He could feel M trembling beneath him and moved to roll away, stopping when she clung to him.  Knowing not to argue, he stayed still, nuzzling against her neck, his tongue flicking out to lick at her damp skin.

M’s fingers combed through James’ damp hair, her other hand caressing over his back.  “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Why thank me for making love to you when it’s always my pleasure?”

“I was thanking you for helping me to forget for a while.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”  James asked as he moved off her onto his back, gently tugging at her, bringing her to rest on his chest.  “Tell me, Marti.”

“Q has found out who was behind Malfry.”  M shuttered.  “James, if they take me again, I won’t,”

“No.”  James told her harshly as he gripped her shoulders.  “No, Marti.”

“James,” she whispered as she caressed his face.  “I’m old this time.  What they did to me then, I won’t live through it again.”

“You’re a fighter, M.”

“Yes, I am, but I can’t fight the changes age has made to my body.  The trauma nearly killed me when I was young.”

“I won’t let them, Marti.”

“We may not have a choice.”

“We always have a choice.”  James growled.  “I’m not going back out on the field.  As of right now, I’m your bodyguard.”

“No, James.”  M whispered as she sat up and looked down at him.  “I need you out there.  You’re my best.”  She held up her hand when he started to protest.  “I trust Gregson, but if you don’t think he’s enough, you can hand pick another guard.”

James frowned but nodded.  “I trust Gregson, too, but I think you need a guard that does nothing other than watch you.  Gregson is also your driver, if someone tried something while you’re in the car,” he shrugged.  “I’ve got someone in mind.”

“Fine then.  I won’t question.  Just put the suggestion on my desk and I’ll see to the transfer.”  Studying James a moment, M decided it was time to ask him what had happened to bring him home so soon.  “James, what happened in Paris?”

“Someone knew I was coming.  My hotel room was trashed when I arrived.  Whoever it was must have thought something would be left for me in the room.”

“That means we have another problem on the inside.”

James shook his head.  “I don’t know that we do.”

“Then how?”

“The people behind Malfry may simply have someone who’s watching me.  This may have been a message to let me know that they know exactly who I am.”

“But James, do you really think they’re recovered from Malfry’s failure so soon?”  M frowned.  She’d thought they would take longer to try again.  Then she shook her head.  “Knowing who it is now, I shouldn’t have even asked that question.”

“What I don’t understand is why are they interested in Phantom after all of these years?  Phantom hadn’t been active until Malfry.”

“I don’t think it’s Phantom they’re interested in.”

James blinked.  “You?”

“Yes, me.  I think Malfry was supposed to kidnap me and hold me until they could get to me, but he was so obsessed with learning who Phantom is, that he mucked things up.”

“But why do they want you?”

“I’m a very powerful bargaining tool, James.”

“That makes no sense.  We don’t negotiate with terrorists.  The head of MI6 or not.”

“They wouldn’t on paper.”

James nodded in understanding.  “We would outsource.”

“Yes.  I know too much to be left.”

“But your training,” he reminded.

“Yes, my training.  I can fight, even the drugs, but at some point they will realize that I’ve been programmed to develop memory loss at the use of certain words and phrases.”

James blinked in surprise at this bit of information.  “What?”

“You’re not to know this, but,” she sighed.  “I refused the cyanide.  Q came up with the idea of programming me.  M was against it, but when it proved successful during my capture and torture, he had it done to himself and went to his superiors to make sure it was implemented as a requirement for all future heads of MI6.  Over the years, new phrases and words have been added to those used in the original programming.”

“I want it done.”

“No, James.  You can’t.  If you go and request it, they’ll know that one of two people has told you.  Q or I would lose our jobs.”

James caressed M’s face.  “That’s why they tortured you as they did.”

“Yes.”  M answered quietly.  “They thought it was some game or trick I was playing when I couldn’t even tell them my name.”

“How did you know Thomas then?”

M smiled at James’ curiosity.  “One of the doctors had said the recall code before Thomas came to see me.”

“I still don’t understand why agents aren’t all programmed.  Why still use the cyanide?”

“I don’t know, James.”

“Can’t you change it like your M did?”

“I don’t have the influence he did.  I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to get where I am, to hold this position, because I’m a woman.  I’ve never really been sure how I wound up as M in the first place.”

James caressed her cheek and smiled.  “I’m glad you did though.  I can’t fancy myself in bed having an intimate chat with your predecessor.”

M laughed as she settled against James’ chest.  “Cheeky bugger.”

“What if they use you as a bargaining tool with some other terrorist instead of coming to our government?”

“The result would still be the same.”  M answered.  “We would still outsource.”

James held her a bit closer as he caressed her arm.  “I love you, M.  I’m going to do whatever I have to do to insure that you’re my M for a long time.”

M knew she should tell James that she was Phantom, that she had ways of taking care of herself, but she couldn’t tell him.  The more people knew, the more trouble it would cause, no matter how much she trusted James.  Instead she simply whispered, “I love you, too, James.”


End file.
